Hi.
This is Ben, your loyal blog writer dedicated to trying his hardest to give you a few moments of entertainment on an almost daily basis, selflessly pouring his heart and soul onto the internets without asking anything in return.
That’s all about to change.
Today I AM asking for something in return! Actually LOTS of things in return!
MONEY!
Just kidding…
But seriously, here are your blog chores for the weekend:
[If you're a jerk and just want to read without doing anything to help a blogger out...go over here and read today's reluctant post about sci-fi featuring the newf's first blogging attempt...sort of]
First is a cause near and dear to my heart: getting a hot mommy blogger to strip on the internet. For real. To make a long story short, Crissy needs to win the hot mommy category in this year’s Bloggers Choice Awards. If she does, not only will it be a massive coup against Dooce, but she has also agreed to post nudie pics on the internet.
Yeah…I’m not all about the nudie ladies either BUT just by voting you’re entered to win about $600 worth of prizes offered by some crazy man who REALLY likes the nudie ladies. It only takes about thirty seconds to register to vote and once you do that, you’ll be free to boost my ego a little bit too.
Good deal right? It’s a win for everybody!
While you’re at it, you can also enter to win one of three MacBooks and three iPhones through a campaign we’re doing. All you have to do is join this group on Facebook to get your first entry into the draw. From then on, you get a ballot for each friend connection you have in the group. The more friends, the better your odds at winning. The first MacBook is being given away on Tuesday.
Would I love it if one of you won?
Yes – in an Im-pissed-that-Im-not-eligible-but-Im-glad-someone-I-like-got-it sort of way.
And while you’re on Facebook, you can join the No Ordinary Rollercoaster blog page.
See? I’m making everything convenient for you. I am diabolical.
What else can I make you do?….ummmm….
Anyone on StumbleUpon? ‘Cause reviews of NOR and the dog blog would be much appreciated. You can find the button to do snazzy social bookmarking stuff in the sidebar. And if this sweetens the deal to lure you over to Who’s Your Dachshund?, I posted pictures of Theo looking like Lara Croft up there today…sexy.
I also like candy. Anyone have any candy? If so, please send immediately. Priority courier. I’d like it by lunchtime pleaseandthanks.
That is all. Obey your King and you might be made one of my many wives.
This pleases me….
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Overcoat: I ask not that you agree. Just that you put up with me. Ha.
Tia: I love you….Ralph Lauren.
science, scmience.
next thing you know those geeks are going to be trying to take credit for chunky glasses frames and argyle.
WHICH WE ALL KNOW BELONGS TO RALPH LAUREN.
I mostly disagree, but oh my god this post made me laugh! You, sir, are the funny.
I agree, science is annoying. Just because something doesn't have “scientific proof” doesn't mean it's not real.
I like my science like I like my politics – separating the church and the state.
Two things:
1. One of my best friends is a theoretical physicist (also a genius) and he does a fine job of explaining antimatter to morons like me. Mostly. If I can get it (sort of) then you definitely can! He's cute and Russian and I can send him your way if you'd like!
2. You need to read Umberto Eco's 'Serendipities.'
I once got into a similar kind of rage when I was watching a doco with the hubby about what will happen to the world if one day we wake up and all the humans are dead.
It so wouldn't happen the way the stupid scientist says.
Say what you will about science, when you're hit by a bus, it works pretty well.
Oh, you have NO IDEA how much I love and adore you right now!
Have you heard this nonsense about creating a manmade black hole that may or may not grow out of control until it reaches SWALLOW THE EARTH STAGE, stopping time and life as we know it?! Have you?
Im going to stop now, for all our sake's. *GINORMOUS HUFF*
Science blows but I looove the festive special. Make sure you keep the little house your chocolates come in because it has a coupon on one of the flaps for a free quarter chicken dinner in January.
“Sure, it was nice to give all the douchebags the prime opportunity to add 'Reading' to their Facebook interests – but let it go. It's over.”
That pretty much sums up why I love you so much.
Sorry, but you lost me at Ewan McGregor and Moulin Rouge. I need to watch that movie very soon…
PETER! The Little Mermaid….maybe the best Disney movie of all time! Jeez…..
Scientist are usually so smart that they are as effing stupid as Britney on K-Fed juice.
(and yes, I said “effing”. I AM from the South. I'm supposed to put up an appearance of being a lady G-d-it.)
Great post, btw.
And now I have “under the sea” in my head. Thanks.
My husband read that semen is an antidepressant.
SERIOUSLY?
Who funds these so called “studies?”
\\As a 'scientist' I have to take exception…There are plenty of things that science discovered that people thought were impossibilities, (germs, antibiotics, gravity…).
As for Swiss Chalet, I couldn't agree more. I worked there once. It was a dark dark time.
dude, i'm with you. i hope every day that physics is disproven during my lifetime and the entire science comes crashing to the ground. ideally crashing right over my high school physics teacher.
You could turn Angels and Demons into a lethal drinking game for every time Tom Hanks shouts/bible reference is made.
“SHUTTHEHELLUPI'MNOWHERENEARFINISHED” made me laugh so hard I almost had Diet Dr. Pepper shoot out my nose.
My dad wanted to rent that over Thanksgiving break. My mom and I both looked at each other and said “No, we don't want to have to think that much.”
A movie should be enjoyable. Not coma inducing.
However, I believe Ewan McGregor is smoking hot. Is he in that? If so I may reconsider just to watch him. Drooling.
Oh, you make me laugh! This was hilarious! And the newf. Good thing he loves you so much.
Is it bad that I don't know what an Ursula is?
After a crappy start to my day, this post made it better. Thank you. You are awesome.
Your dad is a marine biologist? AND YOU HATE WHALES? What did that man do to you?
Swim with whales swim with whales i dream about swimming with whales and bennnnn! Swim with whales swim with whaaales!
(I just made that song up for you. Please sing it to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle”)
xo
What were you doing at Swiss Chalet??
This post has confirmed what I always figured was true: movie night with you and The Newf would probably be something I would want to join in on.
“the regiment that lets men maintain an eight-pack while still consuming complex sugars”
Seriously, you need to get on that and let me know immediately what you find.
Scientists discovered the Earth wasn't flat, but they also created nuclear weapons. Thanks a heap, scientists.
“The Newf is smart and annoying.” — most beautiful sentence ever.
I think science is rad. However, I ABHOR the scientists with their holier-than-thou attitudes and their tendencies to mock all things artsy and literary. They're right up there with religion bashers. Hypocrites much?
HI!
New to your blog – but this may be the best post I've ever read.
Seriously. Ever.
Have you read the His Dark Materials/Golden Compass series? Lots of antimatter. But it makes sense in those books, because you can see it through a special scope and it sparkles. Or maybe that was the Arctic dust. In any case, it was crazy scientific.
*slips away quietly from the blog, hoping that he's not noticed*
I'm with you- no Tom Hanks movie should require a study guide. On that basis alone I think you win that argument.
Ouuucchhh! Oh wait – what was that noise coming from the sewer – it must be something that swam up from the ocean! Gotta check this out . . .