May 11, 2008

"What the hell do you write about me?!"

From the makers of Splenda and the woman who brought you such people as my brother and me…

I give you, a salvaged Mother’s Day surprise:Splenda’s use-exactly-as-sugar directions screwed me today. I have a killer, easy recipe for chocolatey, oaty, peanut buttery goodness that was going to give me about 30 cookies. When made with Splenda? The recipe results in three of the above-pictured hearts.

Garbage. But cute garbage.

I have another tray of different cookies in the oven which are also going to be a baking fail since the newf has been skimming chocolate chips off the top for weeks now and I have no interest in putting on pants for a grocery run. They will be fine although substantially less chocolatey.

At least she will be happy that I didn’t continue to tarnish her reputation by posting quotes such as: “3.8 GPA? The only 3.8 I had in university was blood-alcohol level!”

She likes to pretend that one never happened. BUT IT SO DID.

{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }

SoMi's Nilsa April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

There is a store in Chicago that sells that collar. I am so tempted to go buy it, only I fear that my husband will kick me to the curb if I do.

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verybadcat April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

But how does the tag know when Adicus gets into the trash? And which trash? Because I prefer the inevitable mess created by kitchen trash to the inevitable mess created by bathroom trash……..

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sleepyjane April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Only another (wiener) dog owner would understand that giving your dogs some cupboard space to keep warm is an excellent idea. Genius even.

That or I also fall into the “extremely strange dog owner” catagory.

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tmamone April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

My dog’s status updates will go something like this:

“Isn’t it time to get up, daddy?”

“I love these little treats the rabbits leave behind!”

“*sigh* Mommy, Daddy, and Travis are at work. Time to sulk for 7 hours.”

“DADDY’S HOME!!”

“Some one’s at the door! Oh wait, it’s just Travis, never mind.”

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.bethany. April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

That’s a beautiful thing! …Cats are too pretentious for the internet. Marley just likes to type in MY blog and on MY Twitter like she owns them.

I want little Dachshunds in my lazy Susan!

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Allie April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

that was supposed to be chewing on stuff. I fail at commenting today.

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Andy April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Wait, this is like twitter, but for dogs?? Weird. And the fact you have to PAY for it, even weirder.

As for the last picture… It made me melt.

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CAVFC April 26, 2010 at 4:31 pm

remember when the only pets online were tamagatchis and the biggest problem was remembering to feed them, usually resulting in an untimely death by neglect?

this is so much better!

Reply

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