Since we closed the deal on our soon-to-be house, like any good homeowners, our television has been locked in Home & Garden Television for the past two weeks. It’s really making me reflect on how lucky we were in so many ways throughout the process.
1) We don’t live in a place where you have to shell out $600,000+ for a 30-year-old, two bedroom townhouse without a yard. Screw you, Toronto. And don’t even get me started, Vancouver.
2) Our realtor was actually perfection. She was our Mom when we needed someone to tell us to breathe. She was a hard-ass when she knew that we could knock down the price. And not once did she pressured us into any of the homes that we saw. She never even admitted to liking any of them until the deal on our chosen house was closed. The decision was completely ours and she was willing to let us take all the time we wanted.
Good thing too ’cause we all know that I was more than ready to mess someone up.
3) Move. In. Condition.
What I’m trying to say here is that….
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, HGTV. We just DOMINATED you!
Who’s coming to the BBQ/unpacking party?
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
I need to go back to Abercrombie, seriously. Last time I was there I was almost about to miss my plane to Halifax (but the skirt I was in line to buy was SO cute and on sale for like 10 dollars). I didn’t even notice the rippled hard ab stomach models…
But you take the cake for most ridiculously random hot guy stomach showing ever. Hilarious Ben
WOW. Okay. Well. That’s never happened to me, so you just one uped me. That’s good!
Lol. Okay, fine I won’t.
Yes you did. Don’t deny it.
Mmmmm… *drool*
I had a brief fling with a former A+F model once… just seeing his name in an email STILL gives me a lady hard-on.
Somehow, this is what I'd expect every visit to A&F to be like. Do you think when the guys get interviewed they have to take their shirts off? I bet they do. Easy interview – “You got a six pack? Ok, you're in. No, I don't care that you should be in jail, you're hired.”
Aaaaand I love this. LOVE this. It is, in fact, quite hot. I'm sending the link to my old roommate who now works for A&F HQ (stereotypical gay mecca. If I weren't reasonably certain that he's not been to Toronto, I'd say he might have been the phantom grabber. Sounds about right…
Between this and the first kiss story…I’m in awe, Benjamin.
You have magical good-looking man powers.
maybe you should have licked his six pack
An A&F employee actually greeted you???? I don't believe you. I used to work there, so I KNOW. And I HATE that place now. Won't step foot in it for feal I'll die of perfume inhalation.
Now, this actually sounds pretty lovely, in a jean-creaming kind of way. The Hollister store, on the other hand, is terrifying.
Well, I must say I’ve been in that situation before – having my ass grabbed. It’s a latin ass after all.
But definitely NOT in an Abercrombie$Fitch store. Or any store for that matter.
It usually happens when I’m working it on a dancefloor.
“I just assumed it was an unintentional assgrab – that my jeans just got in the way of some overzealous shopper rather than a driveby second-base”
That’s me always.
So did you and the girl do it or no?
I love it! Even though I can’t fit into A+F sizes, I’d totally go in there if Abercrombie models would grab my ass. Ooohhhh yes.
Abercrombie Kids sells THONGS. To 10-year-old girls. This is why they are evil.
(I have to admit, though . . . those abs kind of made my morning better).
Yummy! You should be flattered, no?
I can't get near an A&F cuz they have the “no fat chicks” bouncer at the door… and ain't no ass grabbin' goin' on at Lane Bryant!
As someone else said… I think the house in the burbs with the puppehs in your early 20's pretty much takes you out of the “on the prowl” category. Even when you post about the newf annoying you, the adoration is very apparent!
I am convinced A & F only hires models to keep me shopping there. It's like softcore porn for me everytime i go in and look at their clerks!
That story was hot … now if i could just get that to happen to me!! LOL
Yay for boys being overtly slutty, too. Bi-product of women’s lib, do we think?
I always find it funny that they are trying to sell clothing yet their models don’t wear any. Not that I mind. I’ll look at thost 6-pack abs anyday. Yummmmmmmy.
Oh, Ben, how could you even think about doing that to the newf?! Am so disappointed in you….
I've never been inside an A&F store, but you've sold me now……
Don't you get your ass grabbed all the time? I know I do.
That IS kind of a hot story. A few years ago I hooked up with an A&F model and it was totally the highlight of my life. Actually, it wasn't at all, but talking about it kind of is. I need a life.
We understand that you'd never cheat Ben. We all know that A&F has the ability to momentarily make you forget you have a significant other, or the ability to speak for that matter.
Abercrombie and Fitch is the scariest place I have ever been. I would rather be thrown into a cave with Rosie O’Donnell than have to face that place.
I dated a guy who did a spread for Abercrombie (i'm not kidding). Shortly after we broke up he came out of the closet (I wish I was joking). Those damn ads are just a cheap tease for us hetero girls. I've banned A&F ever since.
Take the ass grab in stride, Ben. Those men are very lickable.
I have no idea what you wrote on this post because I could not take my eyes off the picture. I’m drooling
Ass grabs??? Oh to be you!!!! I’m so jealous…
….abs….6 pack abs….oh there are words on this page…huh…abs…6 pack abs…
Who would ever fault you for taking advantage of a situation like that one??
Not me!
But I’m sort of a whore so you can’t really go by me.
I would grab your ass.
Too far?
lol I've been at Mall of America when they have models at the entrances, and just as I suspected they all smelled like tanning & lube.
Horrifying!
I am…ahem…a bit of a chubby chaser, so the A&F models don't do much for me. It might also be because I hate A&F more than you can imagine. I haven't shopped there in yeeears because I disagree with their entire philosophy. Plus all their clothes are just really expensive pieces of crap.
But, and here's the main point, I almost peed my pants reading about Mr. StereotypeComeToLife. Hi-larious. Your ass is clearly rockin.
I love your blog! You crack me up daily!
Damn. And I was just going to get all high and mighty with you.
Or not.
You’re too funny. And I think we get that you’re a non-cheating type when you choose to get a house in the suburbs and settle down in your early twenties.
You are adorable.
You lost me at “the torso”. Perhaps I will try to read the post later, once the keyboard dries out (not that kind of drying out….)
scratch that – I just saw Curly Su’s comment – we’re going on a road trip to NY!!!!!!
So, in New York in the summer, A+F has their (male) models standing outside their doors… half-naked, of course. Maybe you’re due for a trip east once the weather warms?