[Editor's Note: Since I insist on being a grown-up, Sundays have become Open House Days. Luckily, this works out well for you as it's officially a UNION JANE DAY. Woot! Enjoy another post from our favourite U.K. correspondent!]
So, I’ve yet to introduce all you lovely people in cyber-world to my roommates. Well, it would take a good four lengthy posts to appropriately capture their idiosyncrasies, and frankly I don’t have the energy for that just yet. But watch this space, because trust me when I say they are worth writing about.
But today I’ll share with you one little anecdote that is totally ridiculous to most people but absolutely commonplace in my house.
I woke up this morning with a hankering for a nice, Sunday breakfast. I went to the store to buy eggs and other fixings to complement the fresh loaf of homemade bread I bought at the market yesterday. As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes I like to pretend I’m Martha Stewart or some shit. So when I remembered that my roommates were all hammered last night, one so much so that he apologized in advance for his assumed drunken revelry, I was a little nervous about what state the kitchen would be in this morning. But much to my surprise everything looked fine, save a bottle of scotch on the counter. I let that go because I’ve learned to pick my battles. I was quite impressed with the lack of mess. That is, until I opened the cupboard and was confronted with this:
Seriously… someone bit into it right through the bag? Let’s move in for the close-up:
Wow. Forget Martha, I ACTUALLY live with Neanderthals.
The best part – they were all so drunk that none of them can remember who did it.
Cohabitation is awesome.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Carolyne: Oh I fell plenty INSIDE the boat. I just didn’t get hurled into the water.
AskAlice: Erm…uhm…ahh…yes, they’re all naked. That is NOT a lie.
Katelin: Just your average daily superhero, ma’am. Just doing my job.
Auburn: You pay a heavy, muddy price to meet them. Be warned.
EP: At least you tried it too!
This sounds more intense than the time I went white water rafting. (I swore it off after my first experience, btw.)
I’m happy you survived and that you didn’t drown. That’s always good.
Sign me up for the rafting to meet these single men!
haha you are awesome. glad you survived.
Um ya so sign me up for this activity. Let’s see: hot naked men with muscles (you DID say naked, right?) and an excuse to literally fall all over them…
Win/Win
Glad to hear you didn’t fall in! I’ve gone twice so far… the second time I went, I was sitting up at the front, and was thrown into the back where the driver was… Good times!!!
“oozing” and “orfice”..two words that should never be used together in the english language
i’m jealous. i went white-water rafting twice and saw little to no actual white water. my entire experience can be summed up with “giggle giggle, splash splash”, with some intermittent glimpses of our guide’s junk.
not as hardcore as i wanted, really.
You are brave.
If I did that you’d be able to hear me screaming from the space station.
On the serious.
OMG that sounds like so much fun, and so scary at the same time. If I could be seat belted in the raft with no fear of actually falling out that would be sweet. Wait, did people fall out?
This sounds exhilarating. Not to mention terrifying. I’m kinda surprised no one’s clothes were spontaneously ripped off by the rushing water.
Glad you survived to tell about it! I love that picture, Burt’s Bath, I know it’s old, but I’ve had it in my bathroom forever and it always gets a comment from guests.
Benjamin Boudreau. You are a golden god. I have no words.
I went a few years ago in Maine. It was so much fun! They even made a DVD for us (which back then was amazing because OMG a DVD with ME on it?!).
A+ for braving it. Hell, A++ just for doing it.
I’m sure Jessica Alba COULD pull off the snot-bubble-and-mud-goatee look. I hate her . . .
Glad you’re still alive!!!
Hooray! You’re alive, and only a little rough around the edges. You stayed on the boat, that’s all that matters!!
Hey single ladies, every wonder where the beautiful men are? They’re tidal bore rafting.
That explains. I’ve never been tidal bore rafting.
P.S. : Why wasn’t newf in the front with you?
I live in fear that I will somehow be forced into whitewater rafting. I’ve done the canoe thing, and even the inner tube thing, but there are some class III and IV rapids round here, and that is *not cool*.
Glad you survived.
That looks like so much fun. I’m dying to go to Ottawa to try that out.
C’mon Ben, I went two weeks ago and want to go again for my birthday. You won’t have to ride bitch again!
I hurt from my shoulders to my hips (and bum) for two days, but I loved every minute of it.
At least now you can tell people you are hard core!
Chuck Norris has NOTHING on you!
I’m just glad you survived! That sounds like something that I will never do. I’m not good with near-death experiences.
Why is it that we humans think the most painful things in the world are so worth doing again. I kind of equate your experiences to giving birth. Soon enough, you’ll forget the pain and want to do it all over again.
hilarious!!!
You should be proud of your outdoor adventure prowess.
Glad you survived to blog about it!
Ripped, wet men and getting to third base with more than one of them at one time? Where do I sign up?
I’m glad you didn’t drown. And that you had fun. Mostly that you didn’t drown.
Oh, and I have the coolest word verification word I’ve seen yet: oozhvogs.