October 15, 2008

This? Is not the Dream Date I ordered!

[The Dream Date series continues with Ashley of This? Is NOT the life I ordered with cameo by Peter!]

8:00am – Pack up the car for a road trip to hassle a certain blogger who does Ashley impressions that make me pee myself and make Ashley angry.

8:30am – 2:00pm – Sing loudly to music from the nineties, eat unhealthy snack foods without worrying about crumbs on the floor mats because the newf isn’t there to yell at us and even if he were he’s not the boss of us and I’m not afraid of him…

2:30pm – Find Peter. I shake his hand and act like a crazed fan girl. Ashley? Well, she kicks him in the crotch and runs off in search of lobster.

3:00pm – Drive back home, Ashley – satisfied with her amazon gonna-kick-yo’-ass ways, Ben – a little frightened.

8:00pm – Rent movies with gratuitous hotness and toplessness. Waste away the night.

RIGHT NOW - Read the guest post I’ve written for Ashley while she’s off gallivanting in Germany.

{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

gully_girl April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Harsh, Ben, harsh… (can you tell I'm an ex-teacher? I may be on the newf's side on this one…). 20 6 year olds sounds like my idea of HELL BTW…

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Ben April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Amindinmotown: He has passed out since finishing his first three days. I'm hoping it goes by unnoticed.

Baby: Shhhhhh….

Katie: Such is the life of a committed relationship.

Childrenofthe90s: I think containers are the crack of non-drug-users.

Jill: I appreciate the sentiment.

EP: We're all falling back into our routines :)

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EP April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

HA! I totally know where you're coming from, Ben. My mother is a teacher, and that made things always interesting during the summers or school breaks because we were always doing something school-related.

I hope things are smoother now that the Newf is back in school. ;)

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Anonymous April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I saw the title of this video and instantly thought of this post!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1920268

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Jill Pilgrim April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I have a headache. And I'm hungry. These are things I share with you in lieu of a comment related to your post.

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Children of the 90s April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I'm not a teacher, but I do work with teenagers and I'm willing to admit I occasionally acquiesce to the ego-stroking of deluding myself into thinking I shape young minds. In reality though, I probably just got into it for the containers.

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Katie [The BleuTrumpet] April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Aw, how sweet. You managed love and hate in one post and it all fit together wonderfully.
You are a truely devoted person.

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Baby April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

HAHAH Hilarious!

Well, I for one am very glad that I'm not going to be around when the newf gets a load of this!

Good luck with that!

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amindinmotown April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Oh, the newf is just going to love this. Please share the backlash with us all.

But, in all seriousness, teachers should not complain. They have MONTHS off work in the summer where they literally have nothing to do. Nothing. I have a few days here and there, sure, but MONTHS? Fuck teachers. For real.

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Auri April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

okay… I share the newfs love for containers…

hubby's going into teaching… I feel sorry for the young children of America right about now. =)

Jobs are very good for relationships… are they not?! (especially when the SO is AT said job!)

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Marie April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I adore you. You know why? Because you completely understand what I go through when my boyfriend is all “whaaa!! summer is over!! i have to go back to school!!”

I feel NO PITY. They get the WHOLE SUMMER OFF.

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Kez April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Bahaha.
I guess it's lucky for my husband that I dropped out of teaching…but now I'm doing counselling…maybe he got a worse deal…

Although he gets competitive. I'm a full time student at university, while he does it tough out on a minesite getting his hands dirty with oil and grease for 12 hours a day. I never hear the end of it!

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EF April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

B!I!N!G!O!

And this why we share things-
Thank you!

Now I feel better, too!

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Meghan April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I'm a teacher, but teach all year round with no summer break. I hate those with summers off just as much as the rest.

And it's totally true about the power trippin'…:S

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Mel April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I would love to hear a rebuttal written by the newf…

:)

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Jaime April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

“LOOK, BEN! THINGS THAT CAN HOLD OTHER THINGS! THINK OF ALL THE THINGS I CAN PUT IN THE DIFFERENT THINGS AND THEY ALL MATCH AND STACK AND CLIP AND HAVE COLOURS!!”

I sound like this every day, and I don't even have an excuse.

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peterdewolf April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Hahaha. Oh man…

[All my follow up sentences seem to involve "the strap" or "getting your apple polished."]

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Lindsay April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

My mom is a kindergarten teacher and she has a crazy obsession with containers, too. She doesn't realize that containers only help tidy things up if they themselves are not left strewn around the house.

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.:*aMbAr*:. April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

LOOOOL!!! too funny

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stealthnerd April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Bwahahahaha.

That was awesome.

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Tia April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

you are my FUCKING HERO.

ben boudreau – killing it ON THE DAILY.

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The Rambler April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

My cousin is a teacher and I have to show this to her!!

Mucho grande love for the hilariousty (that a word? don't ask newf…I'll get a dirty look maybe) this fine morning.

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Ms. Salti April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

My BFF is a teacher as well and complains when her summer is over. I don't remember having my summer off, so shut the hell up!

Nice that you get partner benefits. That's pretty much unheard of in the US.

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Marsha April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I think it's all in attitude really. I and my hubby have also had the go-back-and-forth war over whose job is more important or demanding conflict. I just tell him to bite me and get over himself. you should probably do the same.

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lovelila April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

LOL @ “And because eight hours of the newf's days are spent with mini people convinced he's next in line after the Virgin Mary and Spongebob…”

And excited about “chore time?” Never.

I can't believe I'm even considering becoming a teacher. My English degree is failing me already….and I haven't even earned it yet.

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moonslark April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

(Laugh) I just have to laugh because the “boyfriend” is an educational assistant and for the last 2 months he's been sleeping in until noon (never mind he has 2 kids of his OWN to take care of…hmm) and basically doing as little as he can…

And yet he whines about getting up for work (where he gets to run around outside and play with crayons and NOT deal with construction workers) at 7am… umm… DUDE, some of us get up for work EVERY month, at 5:30am!! Sheesh…

But… gotta love someone who CAN deal with 20 or so 6 year olds… I have ONE and I can't organize HER!! Teachers are some sort of gods in disguise!

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Just A Girl April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Yeah…every morning JP calls me because I can't get out of bed on my own (I'm a grownup, I SWEAR!) and he's all “ugh mornings wah wah” and I'm like “you do realize you're TWO HOURS AHEAD OF ME RIGHT?!?!”

And that, my friend, is when I consider murder. Because he's whining at 7:30…meanwhile it's still fucking DARK where I am.

So um, basically? I saw your thing about ice…just saying.

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thatShortChick April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

HAHAHAHA!! seriously, the Blackberry thing? is so hysterically evil.

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Kellie April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I would get so irritated watching him be able to sleep in while I had to get up and go into hell (aka work). I feel for you, I really do.

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Sue April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

My parents were both teachers, so I can totally relate. But now I'm a librarian and I guess that's nearly as bad.

I foresee a trip to NYC for you two in the very near future…

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Arielle April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

The newf should probably come to New York and go to The Container Store. All containers, all the time. Several floors of them. It's a magical place.

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Hillary April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

You're a good man, Ben, for putting up with all that.

Seriously though, Shawn starts work at 10 so he gets to sleep in and you would not BELIEVE (though really, YOU would believe) the resentment I feel about it, even though starting work at 10 means he doesn't finish until 8, while I'm done at 4:30. Everyone else always has it easier than I do. Period.

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alexa - cleveland's a plum April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

ok, that blackberry idea is pure evil genius.

and i giggled to myself at the thought of it.

take that newf!

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Kate April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

mwhahahaha! I was really hoping your detention would be of the sexy kind. And teachers? Well. They make little people into who YOU are today. NEVER WANTING TO LEARN AGAIN.

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MsDarkstar April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I'm not even a teacher but I have the container issue. I think Mr. POSSLQ wants to kill me every time I say “I just want to look at the storage containers… see if anything is on sale”. Actually, I think he's worried that one day he'll wake up encased in plastic.

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Mel-Rox April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Ben, I never experienced this with a mate but my Mother not only has her ministers license but she is a teacher as well.

I think you should give him a blackberry and ensure that EVERY PARENT has his e-mail address. Let him field e-mails from parents at every hour.

Don't give the phone number of the phone will drive you crazy too.

Great job Helper Ben!

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Mega8815 April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

ROFLMAO!!!
Wow… loving and violent at the same time. Good luck with that one…

(PS – I also have a fetish with containers. I just don't know what to do with them so they end up being stacked up for rainy days… Or random snacks.)

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Clairebear April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Gosh, you must be a super special helper, Ben!
lol sorry, couldnt help myself.

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