April 8, 2008

The Houdini of mini dachshunds

There are downsides to having a small dog who makes very little noise. Sometimes this means having a stroke at the age of 22.

House-sitting is going very well. It’s unbelievable to have some space to relax in, to be able to let the pooch roam on his own (better now considering he has learned to climb stairs) and bark when he feels the need without having to worry about heinous neighbours. Also, let’s face it, I’m surrounded by nicer things than I have.

Last night I hopped in the shower. Calvin watched me get in. Calvin waited. Calvin squeaked. Calvin ran up and down the stairs trying to figure out where the magical shower portal sent me since closing the shower curtain means I have disappeared forever. I WISH, CRAZY DOG!

Once he convinced himself I had left him – ’cause I so often threaten him with abandonment – I listened to him scamper about frantically and then it all stopped. Great. He’s asleep or at least relaxed.

NOPE.

He had vanished completely. When I got out of the shower he was nowhere to be found. I called his name and heard no scurrying feet, no jingling dog tag, and no scared whimpers.

Perfect…He found some strange corner of the house and died JUST TO SPITE ME.

After spending thirty minutes searching all three floors, checking that doors to the yard were closed and locked, and making panic-ridden phone calls, my search methods got a little crazy. I realize there is no way a 10lb dog can fit in a CD case but I was desperate. In that mindset, I opened all doors that had previously been closed to keep him from disappearing. FAIL.

I opened the door to my bedroom to find him sitting there, tail wagging, with a “Oh HAI!” look on his face. I freaked out trying to cover him in love to make sure he hasn’t gone all crazy and started talking to a face painted on a volleyball. What does he do? What he always does

…lays down calmly and looks at me like I’m crazy.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

dwight April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

When I first heard about Google Reader I just KNEW I would love it more than Bloglines. So, I tried it out and was sorely disappointed. It just seemed less user friendly than Bloglines, which I still use and adore.

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EP April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

If I can make it there, I will be just as drunk as y’all. And mooch off your fame. ;)

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Ben April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Cassette: As if I’d leave the blogosphere. This is where I get my self-worth.

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cassette45 April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I was wondering what happened. I clicked thru from my reader to comment and it said NOR “fell off the planet” or something to that degree. Which led to a minor sadness/freakout thinking you went private or x-ed the blogosphere.

But from your deleted post,
Keep in mind that I’m especially adorable when I’m shy. ESPECIALLY.
Aww. You crack me up like few others can.

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Vanessa April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I’m *just* over the 20something line but I’m going to try to go because you 20somethings are all kinds of awesome. And yeah, I can relate to what you deleted, if you don’t believe me, check out the post I did before I went to BlogHer. Or after a mention in the NY Times. I want the spotlight but oh my holy hell, does it have to be so bright?

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Alexa April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

obvy i read your first post before you deleted it : )

seriously i don’t know how you do it with all your groupies.

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Word Perv April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

*sigh*

I turn 30 in January. No 20SB conference in Boston in 2009 for me.

*sigh*

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-A April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Like you, I’m going to be pretty star stuck myself, meeting all the amazing 20SBs that I read every day. Especially you!

shh – don’t tell Alice, but I’m stealing you away for a night!

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The Modern Gal April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I should probably start planning my wardrobe for Boston now.

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ÄsK AliCë April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

PS – verybadcat…I’m sleeping with one eye open from now on…don’t try anything. I know jujitsu!

(That’s the one where people bleed a lot…right?)

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mentalTHREESIXTY April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I shall be drunk right there with you… Oh Yes… I shall!

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verybadcat April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

So what if something happened to Alice………. then you’d need a roomie, right? RIGHT?!

I saw the post. I was going to comment on it to tell you that you are so incredibly cute that even when you’re afraid you’re being egotistical? Even cuter.

Whenever someone tells me I’m fabulous, or they tell someone else I’m fabulous an it gets back to me, I get this weird high/panic/blush/freak out thing going on. Totally normal. I, of course, am on the fence re: my fabulousness, so when someone comes down on the affirmative side, it’s flattering, but I always feel like if they knew me a little better…..

I hate to tell you this, love, but you are normal. And adorable. And a good writer.

So where does this Alice live? Is she particularly strong? (do i need back up, or can I “correct” this rooming situation on my own?)

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Elle April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Hehe – I say LOL as LOL, and not EL-OH-EL – what’s wrong with that!? Nothing!

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Distributorcap April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

that google reader is a dangerous thing

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Auburn Kat April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I think I missed the Boston announcement too! I definitely want to go!

I also hate how sometimes GoogleReader still shows posts after I have deleted them, it drives me nuts!

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nicoleantoinette April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I feel like maybe I need to be obsessed with you to read your blog? Haha so much pressure!

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Rachel April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

You already are rooming with someone else?!

*crushed*

Is it because I kept threatening to drug you and steal your seed? I was totally joking!

*hides turkey baster behind back*

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Adminderella April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

So, the plan to keep the newf from running amok whilst you’re out of town is to leave the poopin’ pups with him therefore occupying his free time with poopscoopin?

Let me know if that works, k? The POSSLQ isn’t so much for the poop scoopin which means I can be gone for two days… tops… (Or come back to an epic poopapalooza!)

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Phil April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I know what you mean, except for the part about all the attention. But I do have the same “what will they think of me” feeling about it all. All I can say is, just keep being you. That’s all anyone can ask of us, and the moment we try to be something/someone other than who we are, we even are lost to ourselves.

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Jenn April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I’m excited and nervous about the meet-up. There’s so many people I want to meet and I get nervous about coming off as an ass or something.

I’m also nervous because I want everything to go smoothly and for everyone to have a great time!

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Paula April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I’m so jealous of the room that you and alice will get to be in – the secrets it will share. if i could come i would insist on rooming with the pair of you, even if i had to FORCE you!!! and yes I saw that blog you wrote too but chose not to comment on it. you are awesome! i wish i could meet you. but alas you would find me boring i am sure. :(

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Arielle April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Was there an official announcement that Boston won the poll? Because I’ve only seen it mentioned on your blog and I’m hesitant to celebrate my victory until it becomes official. WHY AM I SO OUT OF THE LOOP?

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Jamie April 26, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I’m just very vocal about my adoration for you. I will keep it to emails from now on ;)

It’s not just me either ahemrachelandmaxieaheeeem

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