I have waged a very public battle against Dartmouth since the birth of No Ordinary Rollercoaster. You know, we both said things we didn’t mean. Except…Dartmouth said nothing at all and I meant everything nasty that I said.
Dartmouth is across the harbour from Halifax. So, you can pay $2 for an eight-minute ferry ride or you can just drive the ten minutes to get to and from either one. Halifax is beautiful, historic, cultured and friendly. Dartmouth is where they ship the hoodlums and the homeless.
Okay, I kid…Halifax still has some of those…Dartmouth just has the really good ones.
Let’s review: it’s around 4:30 a.m. on Saturday. I am asleep in bed, as everyone should be. I wake up to a banging. I am confused. My first instinct is to keep Calvin from howling in outrage that someone should approach his bachelor pad when I realize…someone climbed the fire escape and is now banging on the patio door of my balcony. Howl away, Calvin, and make it a big-dog bark this time, will you?
The newf investigates (I stay in bed with the dog since…uhhh…I am too adorable to fight crime) to find some man leaning on our railing looking down at the street. The newf reports back then looks again and the man is gone. A commotion is heard in the stairwell and we hear doors opening and closing. We can only assume that the hags from downstairs didn’t direct their drunk-ass friends to the right apartment, leaving us to deal with late-night visitors.
Swell, huh? I’m about five minutes from taking a dump on their welcome mat. Vulgar? Yes. Merited? Yes.
Next up…Sunday morning we are enjoying the fact that my Mom cried with wonderment when Dad surprised her with her leather coat. A commotion is heard at the side of the house and we see a thug tearing through our lawn. He hops the fence into our neighbour’s yard and keeps on running.
Next thing we know, we’re offering the police officer coffee as he explains that there are already four patrol cars in the surrounding streets for other calls (a medical emergency and a potential break-in) so the guy probably took off thinking his stash was getting raided. He said it so casually that we all chuckled in a Oh-boys-will-be-boys kind of way.
Dartmouth is clearly trying to give us a proper send-off to remember before we are ‘Burbofied. Tomorrow, I will probably step on a used needle or have to buy my own iPod back from the jittery guy who walks up and down the street.
So Dartmouth, are you listening?
You deserve EVERYTHING I say behind your back!!!
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
I see this all the time in the job I’m in–some new pop group/guy/girl come in and try to be the next thing. And for some un-known reason, they get more air-play or more attention then artists like Adele, Eric Hutchinson, or Kings of Leon, who are amazing performers with unique sounds, yet are being put in as filler music. I love all types of music, but it seems like the creativity is starting to float away more and more.
Yoga is not just for hippies or women in white Leotards. Care should be taken not to fall into the trap of someone else’s mere idea of fitness, rather than a thoroughly researched 5000 year old body of verified knowledge.
If Lou Bega comes back it’s official – the world is ending.
I remember back in the day when there was a popular band called “Heart and Soul” out at the same time as a song called “Heart and Soul.” I was not yet old enough to process the difference, and it almost blew my mind. I weep for the kids who have to deal with these same-title songs these days.
You sound so distraught in this post. Please let me know what I can do to help!
Speaking of Rihanna….she’s got a new song…wait for it…”Rehab” out now….and another gem of a pop tune title recycles itself. and she did it before with “Take a Bow”. That’s right, you don’t like Madge…nevermind
I think it’s hilarious that I was just listening to P!nk’s “Sober” as I was reading your post. It’s actually a great song, and I love Kelly Clarkson, too. But I have to agree, I’m sick of the title-snatching. If you want any non-pop music suggestions, just holler!
Freakin’ A!
And KINGS OF LEON!!!!!
I knew I loved you.
Here, here! And what is up with all the songs with the synthesized vocals or the ones that just repeat a word over and over again? This kind of music is what makes people on American Idol think they can sing. (except Kelly because that girl has pipes!).
I am so glad someone is calling attention to Hilary Duff having a greatest hits album. Really? What hit did she have? I saw that in the store and I literally laughed out loud. Unbelievable!
I heard the horrible rotten “Womanizer” song today on my way to class… PUKE! I just listened to the amy one you posted, PUKE! Seriously, she needs to disappear for a lot longer than she has!
Anyways… Great post, and many great posts!
♥
Awww, but honey, where would we be without new released by Madge? Seriously, sometimes I think she’s all we’ve got!
P.S.
I am secretly obsessed with the Jonas Brothers…I don’t know what the hell it is about them but I can’t enough of them and their hairless chests.
I’m gross I know.
I don’t understand, don’t you love Disney’s pale, watered down humans, robots are so the future, like dude, you are so totally old and like, out of it…
Give me a good overdose anyday, Disney kids are like store mannequins, I just want to poke them and see if they feel…freaks.
I’m going to work hard to try and forgive you for using the sacred name of Christina Aguilera in the same sentence as (gulp) Hillary Duff.
1) I love 90s songs. Maybe because it was what I grew up listening to. If I was older than 5 when the 80s ended I would probably like 80s music… but I wasn’t and I sure as hell don’t like the majority of 80s music. But that’s just me.
Oh, and Hillary Duff should not be included in the 90s… ever.
2) Probably not.
3) Not sure I understand the problem with this. Check your iTunes and alphabetize all the song titles. There are a lot of repeats from different artists. It happens. Though I think Since U Been Gone is a silly thing to copy… as is replacing You with U.
4) Agreed. I also have heard she can’t sing live. A lot of pop artists struggle with that, sadly.
5) Arg. I hate Disney stars. I mean, it’s good for the kiddies because they need good musical role models and whatever… but you’ll never catch me listening to the Jonas Brothers or Miley.
Oh Brit Brit… just go away. Congrats on being hot again… but go away.
Wow.
cue Darla from the Little Rascals movie:
“Alfalfa…this is a side of you I’ve never seen before.”
Don’t hate me, but I actually kind of love Lou Bega. Can I Tico Tico You? Yeah, you know what Lou, why not? Go right ahead and Tico Tico me…whatever that means.
I also want to add a more obscure “Elevator” to that list — Tabi Bonney. He’s kind of an indie hip hop guy from DC who is actually really awesome. His “Elevator” puts the others to shame. And brings all the boys to the yard too.
ummm i totally own Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson….you are not alone…oh gosh i suddenly had visions of michael jackson and lisa marie presley making out….GROSS.
YESSS LOU BEGA!!!
I agree music today has gone the way of crapola. And it’s only things like Kings of Leon, and mixed soundtracks (Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist sndtrk is REALLY good) that keep me going. And since my boyfriend runs a local music scene, I get to listen to all the new local bands, and the good ones are what fill my ipod.
Music has been really BAD for too long. And Kings of Leon are also one of the bands getting me through this time.
We should totally be best friends and listen to Michael Bolton and Celine together. Trust me.
And is it safe to admit Lou and Eiffel are on my ipod, too?
“That being said, The Midway State, Joshua Radin and Kings of Leon are helping me get balance out the mainstreamorama.”
Ok. I know you have no clue who Josh Ritter is, because when I was all like, OH MAN! JOSH RITTER IS PLAYING IN HALIFAX! You were all like, “who??” So please. Please. Do me a solid and listen to some Josh Ritter ASAP. Let me make this easy for you. http://www.myspace.com/joshritter
Girl in the War. Listen to it. Love it. Then, when you are done swooning, listen to the other four songs on his myspace. You’re welcome. :*
A-fucking-men.
That’s all.
I’m taking a break from the radio. Really. I can’t take it right now.
I keep telling my boyfriend that we’re due for big changes in pop music. Isn’t that the plus side to hard times? Some group of musicians lose their day jobs and get really depressed and start doing hard drugs, and BAM! New musical genre?
Maybe that’s just wishful thinking…
haha yes, I balance out my super pop loving self with my Jets to Brazil, Engine Down and Denali (my current rotation) because I will lose my shit when Circus drops.
I freaking love Britney.
I thought I was the only one seriously disturbed by the number of “Greatest Hits” albums being released by people I listened to at 13…I know I’m not that old, yet. Eeep. I’m glad yours was the first blog I read today.
Ah! But Lou Bega is just so damned catchy. A little bit of… But yes. I agree with you on all of the other points.
P.S. When you reach a certain age, complaining about the current state of anything is really akin to “Back in my day…” Next stop is “You kids get off my lawn!”
Just sayin…
There is also no reason for Madonna to be wearing leotards. Just because you *can* still wear a leotard, does not mean that you *should* wear one.
Oh, and now Shut Up and Drive is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
Oh my goodness. Tommy Hilfiger overalls were probably the one item of clothing I coveted the most during the first half of the 90s. At best, my mom bought me a pair of lavender overall-shorts that I loved, but quickly ruined by failing to remove my wax crayons from the chest pocket before they were shoved into the dryer.
Other than that, yes, you’re dead on with the music garbage these days. I think that’s why I chose to regress into 1960s and 1970s music from here on out. Call me in 20 years and maybe I’ll consider updating my taste in music .
Rihanna bothers me. Almost every song feels like a splinter that I can’t get out. It hurts, get rid of it!
I’m getting sick of Beyoncé but can’t seem to let go.
Ditto for Christina.
But for some reason I have all of Britney’s cds. Wow, I judge me.
I think I have to disagree with you about 90′s music. It rocked, and it rocked hard. And I might be slightly biased because I just caught the top hour of 100 Best Songs of the 90′s last night on VH1.
“At best, the nineties were a watered-down version of the previous decades.”
Only the second half of the 90′s. The first have saw grunge come in and kill off glam-metal with Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. Take them, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden etc, and you actually had bands that could play AND sing AND write decent songs. All the while they didn’t really care about their image like today’s rock artists.
So I wouldn’t call the first half of the 90′s watered down. Instead, in terms of rock, its been the best era of music in the last 30 years.
kelly clarkson is my soul sister. no one can mess with her when i’m around, no one.
shut up and drive is the worst song ever – it’s like death to my ears.
p.s. i’m impressed with your song title research. but then again i wouldn’t expect anything less.
My undying love for Radiohead makes me feel less guilty about my unhealthy love for pop music.
Apparently people are saying Xtina (remember that?) is stealing her style and music from Lady GaGa.
I can’t say anything bad about Britney. I have a soft spot. But Madonna. The only songs I have ever liked were released in the eighties. She’s got to give it up and slow down on the gym.
Top 40 is my guilty pleasure, I cannot deny it. Just last night I spent a good, solid twenty minutes trying to sell the guy I was out with on the virtues of Justin and Beyonce. Now, this wouldn’t be so ironic if the guy hadn’t been the lead singer of a hardcore band… a band that, as a teenager, I used to go see at basement punk shows.
He doesn’t listen to Beyonce. Pfft.
Also, agree 100% on #4. I actually kind of hate “Disturbia”. Or maybe I just hate that they play it every hour on The Bounce. I listen to The Bounce?
Everything you've listed is pretty much the reason that I've given up on the charts.
Last.fm & Pandora do wonders for the soul.
I can’t stand this epidemic either. YUCK.
I bet I can think of 50 other examples of people ripping off other people’s song titles…
but I won’t because I’m tired and 50 was just a round number that I pulled out of nowhere, so I’m not that sure I can back up my claim with evidence…