Yesterday was ridiculous. What started out innocently enough with an outfit that was both adorable – c’mon…it was… – and functional amidst the annual hellfest known as winter quickly became a complete office clusterfuck. Apparently fashionable hats are to agency assholes, what a limping gazelle is to a herd of lions.
Except my lions think they’re funny and original.
IS THAT A – ? OH MY! WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! I JUST – ! I NEED A – ! I – !
MUST! RIDICULE! HAT!
OI GOVNA! ‘AV YE GOT THE LATEST ‘EADLINES? ‘AS THERE BEEN A MUSICAL NUMBER AT YE OLE ORPHANAGE?
HATTY HAT HATTERSON HAT HATTERY HAT HAT HATFACED HAT!!
Over and over and over and over.
And I work in an office where people are paid to be creative…
But like all fancy hat wearers say every now and then: I hear you talkin’ hater but you ain’t sayin’ nothin’, man I let him keep talkin’, let alone this motherfuckers barkin’, I’m a grown ass man, you want a C.I.D., filthy rich on the floor, fuck V.I.P.
Or something.
Can I get an “Amen!”, Anne Hatheway?
Of course I can.
(I totally rocked it off the shoulder for a few minutes just to see if I could pull it off.)
(I couldn’t.)
(Who am I kidding? I totally could.)