I was so thrilled to get any mail at all besides bills that I forgot to post about the Pay It Forward package that I received from Jenn at Free And Flawed! First off, I learned that it is not necessary to eat possible insect feces when preparing vegetables at home with the addition of a vegetable brush to my kitchen armada:
But let’s be honest. The newf and I have been using him as an action figure. And why wouldn’t we? He is clearly a ninja hedgehog warrior who keeps people off-guard with his cuteness so that he can slice ‘em up Sonic-style.
This is the ninja hedgehog warrior with his magic wand of Greyskull. When you plug it into a computer, it flashes. That means it’s either whoop-ass time or dance-party-fun-time. We like to mix it up.
I barely got to see what this was before I found the newf curled up in a ball of melted chocolate. From what I hear, it was very delicious.
Newf: But you said chocolate gave you headaches!
Ben: I would still have liked to try it…
Newf: TOO LATE! I ate it all and I’m NOT sorry! YOU SAID YOU GOT HEADACHES
And these are surprisingly accurate warning stickers, given my lifestyle and workplace attitude. Finally I know that super round-kicks are not meant for the water cooler and that poking people in the face is generally counterproductive to most meetings.
To Chris, Heidi, Lauren and Jamie, your packages are….well…still sitting on my floor. Feel free to pelt me with hatemail.
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
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I imagine music videos in my head that are WAY better than her actual music videos…what a moron.
Sometimes I pretend I’m in a music video, only my imaginary videos probably cost five times as much a her real ones.
That dancing guy is priceless
Someone had to say it.
I’d like Beyonce a hell of a lot more if she would just relax a bit while promoting. Homegurl was everywhere. I was surprised she didn’t attempt to deliver the weather news or interrupt a news broadcast to promote her new album, it was that bad.
I’m with you on this one!!!
even after we have 308430 gchats and twitter love sessions…i still CANNOT get over the fact that
A) we share one brain.
B) you’re so ridiculously cute that i just want to skip around with you holding hands and making fun of people.
dreams. i haz them.
I agree, those videos did look fairly bad. (I don’t like admitting I’ve seen them).
Way to argue with yourself at the end! Although sadly, it’s all true.
I did love the SNL Single Ladies skit with Justin Timberlake.
And, although she annoys me in general, I A) Loved “Ring the Alarm,” for no reason. B) Would do her if the opportunity arose when I was single and she promised she wouldn’t talk during it
Can I love on this post? I think so. Cuz I’m loving my 20sbtwin’s writing style. Your posts are almost as pretty as we are. And when I mean pretty, I mean fucking bite your head off fierce.
When Beyonce first started out one of my friends made a comment that she had weird knees. Now when I see her all I can think about are her knees. It’s crazy but I can’t help seeing knees.
Every time I go into a restaurant and I see a server who forgot to wear her pants to work?
I’m going to both envy her tips for the evening and curse Beyonce.
I was thinking of wearing a onesie to work tomorrow…I think I could rock the look
i should have been Beyonce.
sigh.
I was going to say almost EXACTLY what Peter said!!
I have to start getting up earlier… stupid time difference… *grumble!*
Undoubtedly my favourite line of the post is
“Plus there’s no denying that anyone will ever love Beyoncé as much as you do so I figure my fandom is better spent elsewhere”
Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Don’t even trip, Ben, I got you covered. I posted a blog about it a few days ago http://fantabuloushimbo.blogspot.com/2008/12/lawd-jay-zis-hallelujah-amen.html
Check it out, have tissues handy.
-Himbo
I tired of everything Beyonce except her butt.
Kristen- I would be willing to do that as long as you promise to pay for all of Diana’s therapy later….
My husband is the original pantless wonder so I guess the dance off would have to be between him and Diana.
That’s a terrifying thought y’all.
Funny, but wrong.
I hate that Single Ladies video and I can’t watch the other one at work. I really just can’t stand how she “dances”. It’s ridiculous.
Granted I still sort of like her. A little.
There’s a love-hate relationship if I ever heard one. May I suggest therapy for you two crazy kids?
I hate Beyonce for getting ‘Single Ladies’ stuck in my head and making me like it.
The BF does not appreciate me prancing around the house singing, ‘if you like it than you should have put a ring on it’ over and over.
Oh great when Beyonce doesn’t wear pants, it’s saving money and okay but when I’m do that while out, I get in trouble for indecent exposure – Discrimination, I tell you!
Let’s hope those Diva “glasses” don’t stay around!
I imagine she “sees” out of them like looking through washerblades on speed.
Economy is in shambles. I applaud Beyonce for only using 6 dollars per video. It’s time for a change!
I heard that once.
thank you for recognizing Diva as the same exact video as Single Ladies. I love the Diva song (strictly for the bass bumping possiblities), but I thought the Diva video would be better and maybe involve some ball-crushing of some sort.
maybe i need to start directing/producing music videos….
Oh, and so agree with you on this one.
onsies LMAO! I hate when grown woman wear onsies. As a mother of three, I just can’t find it sexy. I have the immediate urge to check to see if someone needs a diaper change.
AND she recycled Ciara’s song about being like a boy.
I love me some B, but she is on a fast train to CrazyTown lately.
Beyonce can do no wrong in my book. You knew I was going to say that, didn’t you?
I am still laughing at you bite it, you bought it… and peter’s comment.
You know how I feel about the diva video though– those glasses were amazing.
Reading this has literally flipped my day upside down. Thank you! I’m glad to see that not everyone is as crappy as I see them to be.
Everytime I hear single ladies I picture JT dancing and everything is good with the world of Heather again. Other then that Beyonce and I aren’t too close.
Maybe she’ll loan me some of the money she is saving.
The Onesie while it would save me tons of time, would ruin the excitement of others when I actually *do* put on pants. So you see it’s a fail/fail.
Damn, that’s my girl, yo.
I’m still ticked about the Virgin Mary thing, though.
What concerns me most is that you know exactly when the mini-dachshund shows up.
I’m ducking for cover, awaiting Aine’s smackdown because you’re even slightly disapproving of her girl B.
I think Beyoncé has the same onesie in every colour. Saves her the time of needing to coordinate her tops and pants.
Umm, until I clicked on the link, I thought Upgrade U was just a commercial for Direct TV.
I guess this means that either I don’t listen to popular music enough or that I watch too much TV. I’m sure it means a dork.
I think that’s how she keeps the gajillions she has. Saving up instead of splurging on clothes and videos.
As a woman myself, I don’t understand that.
I don’t know why, but I blame Jay Z….
Crissy is going to stop wearing shirts?
This is a great day in blog history!
You know, I just don't get Beyonce? I mean she sounds nice and all, but all she does is whine, whine, whine about how us guys are just God's biggest mistake… She's like a kadzillionaire, married to one of the best guys out there… I'm pretty sure he doesn't hit her or lock her up or what may you, so one would THINK that she is leading a good life… WHY ALL THE WHINING AND singing about how us guys are worth *&$@…
And on a separate note, your posts religiously land in my Google reader right when I come back from my lunch break.. Which would mean you're blogging at around 6:45AM-7:00AM (assuming you're like in Toronto)?!?!?! IS THAT POSSIBLE?? I tried not to kill myself today at 6:45AM (when the alarm woke me up) seeing that I have to return to work after a two week vacation..
I also have a “you bite it, you bought it” policy.