Oh hello, MGM Grand.
I know you’ve seen your fair share of action but I figured I’d let you know that you’re not even ready for The Awesome Storm heading your way. In a mere 134 days, I will be dragging my Canadian ass onto a plane and flying across the continent AGAIN. But this time? This time I’m coming for you, Vegas.
(But seriously…can people start just coming here? I can’t keep this shit up. Jetlag is never kind to me.)
But MGM, you have no idea what’s about to happen. Not only will Tia and I be reunited as roomies for four nights, making good on our loosely concocted and poorly thought out plan of seeing each other once a year, but I will be in town to meet people that I’ve been reading and loving from afar for over two years. Time flies when I’m being all nosy into your lives, bloggers.
Oh – and I’m betting I’ll have at least one drunken conversation with your lions.
I don’t gamble much and I don’t love festering in old people’s excess nicotine, but I do love me a buffet and anywhere that lets me walk around drinking alcohol while shoving hooker cards in my pockets. I intend to call one just to come over and have tea although I’ve been warned that will be expensive. Not to mention I’ll have to throw away the teacup after. And the chair she sits on.
MGM Grand? You should also know that Cher is going to be in town at the same time. This might be too much for me to handle…I might…MIGHT end up having a physical breakdown from doing too many fake hair tosses and proving that I still know all the words to Turn Back Time.
(I do.)
(Speaking of, I should be kept away from all wedding chapels and should under no circumstances be allowed near any altar with anyone I describe during that weekend as the “love of my life. No seriously. I love this bitch.”)
But that’s what it’s all about, MGM. Going to Vegas for nothing but fun, laughs and drinks with friends I’ve been dying to meet. With Cher. And lions. Because you know….why not? They can’t hurt right? Well…actually I’m sure the lions could. And Cher too, for that matter.
But they can both bring it on, baby, ’cause I’m booked and ready to go.
Bloggers in Sin City? You’ve got me excited in too many inappropriate ways.
Brace yourself, MGM. Brace yourself…