Lately I’ve been seeing more tights than I really care to mention. I’ve more or less come to terms with the fact that they’re here to stay (for the time-being) and gladly welcome them into fashion so long as they are not used as an alternative to pants. Oh – and provided that you all understand that I can only accept tights or shoulder pads…not both…so you made your choice.
GIVE IT UP, “LADY” GAGA.
Nevertheless, I have some questions. The last time I really understood the composition and function of tights was when I worked at a day camp and this kid was obsessed with lifting her dress above her head. I fear for what she grew up to be РBeyonc̩ perhaps? Рbut at that point, thank god for tights. Since I rarely see women in various stages of undress and the newf is not allowed to wear tights (for a variety of reasons), I find myself hypnotized by their clingy existence every time my fashionable coworkers walk by.
Erm…not in a creepy way, I assure you.
Okay. Kinda in a creepy way.
Sorry, ladies.
1) How far up do they go? Are they thigh-high? Higher? All the way to the waist?
2) If at waist-height…do you still wear underwear with them or would that be unnecessarily doubling-up?
3) If necessarily/unnecessarily doubling-up, do you go the thong route or is a tights day a granny panties day? If its the latter, I think I’m beginning to understand the rise of tights…it’s not that girls love tights, it’s just a better alternative to ass-floss.
4) Say you’re seducing someone while wearing tights, is it terribly difficult trying to undress in a sexy way? I think it would take a Pussycat Doll to get out of tights in a sexy way and even then it’d only be sexy in the way that a woman doing an upside-down spread eagle is sexy. So….sexy with a touch of hepatitis.
5) Back to the big underwear question…when leading up to the act of love (the slutty kind, not the romance kind), do you seem overprotective when the guy has to get through so many layers to get to the main event? I mean dress, tights, granny panties – where does it end?? You’re like one of those freaky Russian doll things that have 384 ladies all stored within a bigger lady. You know what I’m sayin’?
I’m sure I could come up with more questions but at a certain point you just have to let the mystery of girls stay a mystery.
And I’m not kidding…I will not be so accepting if shoulder pads come back.
Unless I can wear them too.
I strongly support the Zoot Suit.