I wish the automatic flushing toilet at work would stop making people think I’m having difficult BMs by flushing four to eight times during my pee break.
Spent 25 minutes cursing the almost-broken printer. Supervisor said, “That suck. I’m sure you have more important things to be doing.” Then I realized…not really…
Alexandre Despatie is far superior than Michael Phelps in the looks department. Probably because Phelps is part fish.
I should definitely introduce Joan Rivers the Macbook to Mr. T the barbecue.
As much as I hated the squeaky toy that could make the Baby Jesus cry, I’m depressed now that I have to watch Calvin desperately search for it nonstop.
I have plans every day this week and just thinking about it makes me want to go fetal. I love people but I also love go-to-bed-at-nine days.
How long is too long to spend writing a blog post about testicles? Friday will be a good blog day.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
You are rocking out with Whitney and didn’t invite me?
You bastard.
Bwahahaha! I couldn’t get past the ‘licking the crotch while still attached’. I laughed so much I had to come back and read it TWICE!!
You all must make for wonderful company at a restaurant. I’ll love to join you next time.
I love shenanigans. LOVE THEM! Wet drawers. Attempted groin licking. Stripping in the potty.
I’m going to let the fact that everyone else does these things while loaded slide. I don’t like to ponder too long about how I experience these events while sober.
Ben.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Why can’t I live near you so I can see this crap happen live?
Yeah! I need some obscene stories in my life.
Wet crotches are fun.
As long as it isn’t mine.
Oh my GAWD!
That sounds fantastic.
I can’t wait to see pictures!!!
YEAAAAAA i wanna dance with somebody, i wanna feel the HEAT with somebody.
i love Whitney, always.
Sounds like the martinis were definitely worth it. Right?
I’m just going to echo the “pictures please” remarks.
12 martinis, huh? Not too shabby. I’m not a martini gal, but I’ve downed two bottles of vino before. How does that compare? I think you have me beat.
PICTURES. please, for the love of Prada, take PICTURES.
Sounds a bit terrifying. “Whilst Nick was still attached, of course” Rofl!
Oh what people do for friends….
;-D
When Idontliketoread was down here visiting, I spilled an entire beer in my lap.
I blame the sake bomb.
Oh I’m so jealous. I want to come! Instead I will be doing home improvement weekend. We need to but still it = zero fun. And now that you said gorgonzola I am totally craving these gorgonzola cheese fries from Figlio’s. Yummmmm…..
12 martinis? I’ll hold a seat for ya in AA, my friend. When you can drink the whole gallon in one day? Call me!
mwhahahah!
I like your new blog
OMG. I’m so excited to hear about it, you’d think I was going too! Pictures will be a must!
Oh hell, someone call the coppers now! They’ll need advance notice.
I hope you get to feel the heat from somebody.
12 gin martini???? ah.. that’s a lot!!! I did set the record on my 25th birthday: tequila. I got really sick as I stepped out the club and haven’t touched it since. I’m getting nauseated as I type this.
I can’t wait to learn about your upcoming night out report – it’s going to be a good stuff because I love confetti!!!
I so want picture after that last paragraph!!!!
coincidentally, today is my 22nd bday. and i plan on challenging your record!
Thank you, Ben. You yet again make me set ridiculous goals for myself. This July…my 23rd…I WILL set a martini record. Training starts Saturday.
Ooh I want to wear short shorts and knee socks. Fun!
All I can see is classy.
There better be pictures.
hahaha that must be a goooood time.
I know if I spill something down my boobs though, I think I’ll get more drinks
And yesterday as 21st Amendment day and everything!
I’m debating Retro Night. I mean, as long as I’m going to be here and not in T, I may as well party like it’s 1989, right?
I hope they play Marky Mark’s “Good Vibrations”. I own that jam.
I had a pseudo-heartattack when I saw that beer belly (before reading!) I thought that was your “four pack” after the three thousand drinks you had since that Abercrombie post!!
PHEW…
martinis are ALWAYS worth it.
and YOU BETTER HAVE PHOTOS next week!! confetti and costumes MUST be documented.
Nice crotch shot. If the drink were a milky white russian type..the pic would be a lot different.
Then, of course, there’s the mental image you’ve given me in the restroom…Thanks.
Nothing like imagined porn.
Looking forward to your next adventures! With pics!
you’re right – there’s nothing wrong with 12 martinis lol. Good stuff x
Will we get to see photographic evidence of the the weekend to come? x