One week from today I will be in New York getting ready to board a flight to Detroit where I will then haul ass to get to my flight to Vegas for five days of troublesome behaviour. And you know what? I’d be really excited about this but for the fact that numbers are once again ruining my life. I’ve been trying to maintain a proper countdown but there are so many rules! Do you count the current day? Do you count the departure day? Do you multiply the total by 28 and divide it by the square root of Pi? I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.
Here I am trying to get excited because one week equals seven days so that’s how many I have left until I leave but then everyone else is already saying seven days when I know for a fact that I’m getting there a day before most of them. So now I really have no idea what number to use to get myself pumped up and my head hurts because my left-brain is slowly shawshanking its way out of my skull in order to find a more suitable host who can actually count up to ten without needing a nap or celebratory cookie.
Do you know how hard it is to get excited about something when numbers get all up in your business? It’d be like going home with your perverse celebrity obsession of choice only to realize they’ll only sex you up while you struggle your way through complex algebra problems which would be a huge issue because ALL algebra problems are complex to me. X equals what?? Does my trickjaw count for nothing anymore?!
All I want is a standardized countdown protocol so that we’re all on the same page and every ‘OMG! SO EXCITED!11!!11!‘ conversation doesn’t degrade to a numbers debate that makes me want to call the whole thing off so that I don’t need to deal with it all anymore.
Can you imagine if I were a character in one of The Ring movies? My cell phone would be all, ‘Buzz BUZZ buzz‘, and the creepy dead girl would be all, ‘Seven days……..wearsomethingflirty‘, and I’d be all, ‘Hold up, sister girlfriend. Seven days? Starting today? Including the seventh day? I really don’t know if I should be ready for Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. I mean, are you counting the current day AND the actual day of the brutal killing?‘
You see? This whole countdown thing is a big deal. It’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than Vegas. It’s bigger than making sure creepy dead Asian girls don’t think you’re disorganized. This is about making sure that we, as a global community, come together for the sake of consistency and proper scheduling.
So there. That’s it. I leave next Wednesday. One week from today. Maybe seven days away. Tell me what to think.
Photo credit: http2007
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Okay, I think you have the right idea. You leave in a week, or 7 days, but there are 6 daus until you leave.
Count the current day, but not the day you leave, because on wednesday you have no mre waiting, it’s the day!
Hope you have fun, you don’t have to count in Vegas, people will do it for you if you tip well enough!
But…but…butbutbut…am I not then counting down to the day BEFORE whatever I’m counting down to?
Wave at me when you arrive in Detroit.
PS: I just read Denise’s comment and I don’t know about you? But that made my eyes cross.
In the same way that a ‘month’ is technically four weeks (28 days) yet all the ‘months’ are 30-31 days. I HATE IT.
THIS whole “month = 4 weeks = 28 days = 28 – 31 days” shit!?!? I SWEAR, it keeps me up at night. Makes NO sense!
Someone totally dropped the ball on getting that right. I’m not sure exactly who to blame but I have a feeling it’s Caesar, Shakespeare or Lindsay Lohan.
Enjoy your stay in beautiful Detroit! Come back and see us again soon
I’m sure I’ll have a lovely and stressful 45 minutes running from one plane to the next, but I’ll try to look out the window while I’m in transit!
I’M SO DISGUSTINGLY EXCITED TO MEET YOU.
It’s going to be a scene. A SCENE.
Algebra. <<>>
I count *sleeps*.
How many more sleeps until you are IN VEGAS? If by “one week from today”, you mean you will be in Vegas on May 19…then that is 7 more sleeps.
I don’t do math; I do sleeps.
Fair enough. Then I’m at seven sleeps….so…six days? I should just quit while I’m ahead, shouldn’t I?
From my experience, any time you call someone sister girlfriend you probably are not going to get the right answer.
Or you’re on late 70s black comedy.
DYNO-mite!
I’ve always WANTED to be on black comedy!
And you didn’t even factor in the time difference because depending on what time of day it is for you and for Vegas it could be 6 days or 7 days.
I think.
You’re right numbers ruin lives.
My head just exploded.
Oh jesus.
we’re pretty.
we don’t need to be able to count.
teeheee heee heee let’s make cute faces.
I too count sleeps. It does solve the problem most times, but only if you use the sleep count exclusively. The day count makes it all not make sense again.
So if you will arrive in Vegas at some point in the time space continuum that you consider to be Wednesday, then you have 7 SLEEPS UNTIL VEGAS! Yippee!!
Time space cowhat?!
Count sleeps. It makes you feel like the Disneyland kid and days are too fucking confusing anyway. At some point you can switch to hours. 6 sleeps, 5 sleeps, and then OMG 72 HOURS. (This is also confusing though. Hours until my plane leaves? Until I leave my house? Until I land in Vegas? I DON’T KNOW.)
Julia and I tried to do a day count before we left for Vegas, but I was always a day ahead of her. We leave in 4 days! You mean 5 days! No, 4 days! Nooo, 5 days! Don’t tell someone who thinks they leave in 4 days that they really leave in 5 days. Worst.
I’m confident in my departure date at least…that’s the important part over the countdown, yes?
Listen my friend, Vegas is going to be YOUR.WORST.FUCKING.NIGHTMARE if numbers ain’t your thing. You need to get over this, toute suite and start figuring out which swimsuits go with which cocktails.
Seriously, this is so true. I just got back from a week in Vegas yesterday. The first 4 days I was worried about how much money I was spending, but by the 5th day I said fuck the numbers.
Where I DO succeed with numbers is pretending that money isn’t real. Don’t you worry.
Yes. Exactly. What? I just got a countdown clock for my facebook page, it tells me how many days are left, I can’t be expected to figure this shit out myself.
Oh Facebook…way to drop the ball when you could be helping.
I have an OFFICIAL counter on my iGoogle homepage that says I will be there in 7 days and 23 hours. And I can’t check in until Thursday so I’m hoping that’s the day it’s counting down to. That’s all I’ve got because SOMEONE just mindfucked me so hard I can’t think straight at the moment.
I’m not naming names or anything…
Was it me? It was me, wasn’t it?
Sleeps definitely are the best. In more ways than one. You’re only screwed if it’s a night flight.
But I agree with Ronda. Make Facebook do the work for you! lol
(also, finally stepped out of the Google Reader. LOVE the redesign
)
It’s about TIME!
Trickjaw. Sounds like a cartoon character. But not one of your Saturday morning cartoons. Nope. Not one of those.
Hahahahahaha
You can count “and a wake up”. So for me, I’ll be in Vegas Friday morning (stupid work preventing me from being there Thurs), so it’ll be 8 days and a wake up for me.
I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!
I get there on Wednesday…I felt the need to get my bearings before the madness begins. We’ll be ready and waiting for you!
You’re going to have SO much fun, I can’t wait to hear about how ridiculous it is! Video blog from vegas? *makes puppy dog eyes*
Clearly I am going to have to post a little something-something.
um… there’s an app for that. I downloaded it. cuz I’m that geeky. and bad with the days too.
Is it free? I’m not paying for anything to do with numbers.
i’m sad on the inside and outside that i’m not going to be there.
gay games 2014 baby.
haha.
You totally dropped the ball on the coming to Vegas.
First off, the new design? Is freaking HOT.
Secondly, I’m super excited/jealous you are heading to Vegas in a week. Partly because I know it’s going to be an amazing time and partly because I won’t be there. … Either way, I cannot wait to hear the kinds of trouble y’all get into.
So sad you’re not coming…
Vegas again? What the? Why you always going to Vegas. Whay,whay, whay. I kid. I am jealous
Again? I’m JUST NOW going to Vegas.
This just made my head hurt.
I lost track on the countdown, but I do know that I’ll be there with all of you awesome people in ONE WEEK. That’s enough numbers for me!
YES!
Lots of free counters out there, let’s face it, the interwebz realizes that we can’t be bothered with the math and dazzling people with our genius words at the same time. Nope, simply no need for that. Have a fabu time.
I will! I SO will.
I vote for whichever means LESS.
As is LESS TIME UNTIL I GET TO LICK YOUR FACE.
Okay okay…but for real…the face-licking is a joke, right? I HAVE SENSITIVE SKIN.
Really, all we’re doing is confusing this poor boy even more.
It’s fun!
Doesn’t take much.
My advice – start drinking now. Then, the numbers won’t matter so much.
Set up camp in the airport terminal tonight and go on a bender in whatever Canada’s version is of the airport T.G.I.Friday. Eventually you’ll wake up in the airport in Vegas with a note pinned to your lapel with your name and hotel reservations (loving placed there by the Newf), and, if you’re lucky, some American money neatly folded and tucked into your front pocket for cab fare to aforementioned hotel.
DONE.
Well, Im so confused. Im not sure how much help ill be, since Im a day ahead of you and I might give you false hope by giving you a shorter amount of time….
All I know, is less time is better.
When I want to be excited about going somewhere, I count down to the day I leave (so, dont count the day you leave. Getting to vegas is part of the vegas trip.) and never count the day it is now (because that day is already here, duh). So, if its wednesday, and you leave next wednesday, thats six full days until you leave. Yay, six days!
If you really want to count the day it is now, only count it as half a day.
I think I just gave myself an stroke.
I….just….WHAT?
i THINK that i wish i was going to vegas too! *whining* i wanna see Cher SO BAD and nobody will go with me! please, if you see her, paparazzi her scantily-clad ass!
I so will! We were going to go see Cher in a big way until we realized just how much money it would cost to go….then….not quite so much.
Sad news for everyone.
I feel the same way, Ben. And that’s why I use this for all my countdown needs. http://www.timeanddate.com/counters/customcount.html
It does a math equation, so it must be right.
I trust people who seem to know what they are doing with math without question.
Because asking questions would be too efforty and boring.
JUMP HUGS.
And I just downloaded the iPhone app called “Countdown” and I tell it what day is THE day, and it tells me how many days, so I don’t have to deal with all that crap.
Oh yeah. I’m one of THOSE people. Those “I have an app that tells me when I brushed my teeth” people.
My ‘sleep countdown’ would have been a farce anyway now that I’ve suddenly realized that I only get like two hours of sleep tonight. I’d have to get into sleep fractions and I don’t have any of the personal qualities that involve managing something like that.
LMAO! I’m sorry but I’m totally thinking of “The Hangover” right now, reading all the comments! Have a grrrrreat time in Vegas! I’ve never been, but my fiance has.
(That was before I met him, we will go together someday of course)
You HAVE to go. Probably just once. It’s kind of something you need to mentally and emotionally recover from before you can go back.
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