September 10, 2008

Mom in Real Dream Date

[The Dream Date series continues with Rachel of I'm a Mom in Real Life!]

9:00am – Blindfold Rachel and shove her in the back of the car. Kidnap Diana from preschool.

10:00am – Untie frantic Rachel and take Diana to the mall for cool lessons. You know, crucial preparation for middle school. I want her to be the Queen Bitch by high school to make up for the fact that I wasn’t.

Okay. Fine. I’ll be taking Queen Bitch lessons from Diana who clearly knows how to work the world since she was offered a real live penguin for her birthday and had an assembly line of people unwrapping presents on her behalf.

11:00am – Realize that children are tiresome. Give Diana back to preschool teacher and insist that it was all a big misunderstanding. Cancel the 911 call and avoid prison time.

12:00pm – Drink gin and tonics with a jittery and confused Rachel, hopefully by then she will be identifying with her captor.

3:00pm – Return home to watch the newf and the husband wrestle in whipped cream for our entertainment.

3:30pm – By now, Rachel and I will surely need some…alone time…

{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }

The Dutchess of Kickball April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

I have never before felt the urge to lick my computer screen, until now.

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peterdewolf April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Theona Lewis sounded perfectly legit to me.

Crap. now I feel like looking up some songs from 2001.

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Daisee579 April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

I never got on board with the whole Ricky is hot thing, but that might be because I had a nasty breakup with my own Latino boy. Who knows. But I have to say that picture of him is Y.U.M. I want to lick him in naughty places and it’s waaaay to early here and I’m waaaay too married for that. Now I have to go change my panties.

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Arielle April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

During sophomore year of college my friend and I would stand in her room watching the Dirty Pop video over and over again so we could learn the dance. We did. At least most of it. I just tried singing it in my head and I still remember most of the words. I’m awesome!

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BIBI April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

LOL! Your description of Ricky as a lunch lady had me rolling. But…

he is still hot. Even though he can’t sing worth a lick. The music still has me gyrating though!

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Mel April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

he is freaking hot…crappy songs and all.

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Deutlich April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

pretty, pretty Ricky

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Tarek April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

We were doing a fast version of dirty pop in Body Step class… Very jumpy!

Dude Ricky?! Seriously?! (even though I remember all those rumors during highschool that he was gay! Probably the boys were just jealous, but still!)

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cavy April 26, 2010 at 4:30 pm

oh willa ford…i STILL can’t believe nick carter dated her. lame.

not gonna lie though, when that ricky martin/christina aguilera duet – “nobody wants to be lonely” – comes up on my itunes shuffle, i don’t skip it.

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