I feel a little ridiculous with so many special event posts lately. Honestly, if you’re prepared to stick it out with me for the next two weeks or so, all the birthdays, anniversaries and house purchases (10 days!) will be over and done with. I promise I will go back to posting about whatever junk you actually started reading NOR for in the first place. (Puppy poop? Miley Cyrus? Binge-eating?)
That being said, today is the newf’s birthday! Happy birthday to the newf! We are not exchanging presents since umm…well, houses and their contents are pricey, but I will be getting a chocolate cake that will hopefully say Happy Birthday Schwuler! on it.
Foreign insults make special occasions just that more special.
Oh – and having a low maintenance relationship that isn’t based on extravagant celebrations might just be the greatest gift we’ve ever given each other.
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
You know, I think my boy has the same issues with me. Minus the last one. … That’s just awkward.
You would think…but no.
Doesn’t No. 4 make you complimentary to one another? He scrubs, you tidy. It would be a problem if he scrubbed and you dirtied.
Don’t hate me, but I can’t sleep AT ALL unless the TV stays on the ENTIRE night. Sleep timer is not an option, the minute it clicks off, I’m wide awake. Irritating, I know.
LOL, cleaning is for losers, or bf’s apparently. The Teacher thinks that my lack of cleaning habits are “unhealthy.”
“I’m adorable to the point of it being distracting for all those in my presence.”
Not only does that seem to be true, but we also have that in common . . .
“5) The newf likes when I stand outside the door and talk to him while he…number twos. I do not like this”
Literally laughing my ass off. This one was hilarious.
Hmmm… how can you conserve power by unplugging something when said something is turned off? I don’t get it.
I also fall asleep with the TV on… and sometimes I forget to put on the timer and wake up the next morning to a Ron Popiel infomercial on pasta makers. Which could be two reasons why I am still single.
I love this list – I remember being *so* concerned when Mister and I moved in together that one of us would end up being weird or having habits that we couldn’t live with…
I’m glad that the newf is the werid one
And I voted for you even though I’m bitter that I’m the only Canadian with or without a blog who didn’t get nominated. No! Really! I’ll survive..
Number two and three are the same for me. I hate that my boyfriend is such a packrat. I’m always trying to throw stuff out when he’s not looking, but he always figures it out somehow…probably when he takes out the trash.
If Oprah says it conserves power, well then clearly God has spoken.
You BEDAZZLE me, even!!
(OK, I voted for you. 3 clicks. You win!!!)
Hahaha the hubby and I annoy each other with a few combinations of your aforementioned points.
This post reminds me of a quote from the band Kaiser Chiefs -
“Love’s not a competition but I’m winning…”
Which I’ve probably taken really badly out of context!
- Kez
Late to comment but you win! And I voted! But I didn’t get an “I voted” sticker.
The tv, is it on just some random channel because Modern Marvles always puts me to sleep even when it’s the middle of the day.
Eww to talking doing two’s that’s just gross.
ummmm the pooping whilst conversating thing is a little gross. i’m not gonna lie. lol funny nonetheless but a little gross.
p.s. i gave you an award today on my blog. go check it out! :]
But…but…those of us who pack rat and need to sleep with trashy MTV reality shows on ARE adorable!! We’re just…misunderstood.
I voted for you, because you’re great and because you respond to your comments. I love that.
Number five? Yeah. I thought I was the only poor soul having to put up with this.
Try the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” speach. It works sometimes.
I’m sorry that little pieces of your soul die everyday. I had a roommate when I was in college who had to listen to music while falling asleep. It was terrible. TERRIBLE!!!! (oh yes, I too need complete quiet and darkness. although i do have a rain machine that i enjoy.)
Ben…you need a sleep mask. Ok, it might make you feel like one of the Golden Girls, but it makes things blissfully dark!
And maggots? Total deal breaker. I am all for being “green” but NOT if that is the colour I will turn opening the bin.
This list does appear to be a LITTLE biased but #2 is SO true.
I did have a good laugh over the unplugging appliances and lamps at random. Reminds me of an old roommate…
Oh Ben, you make me laugh. The fact that you call yourself adorable really just hammers home why I like you so much.
Also? The majority of teachers I meet are pack rats, you never know what you will end up needing for a lesson. The idea of throwing out an egg carton will likely induce a seizure, it’s just how teachers are wired. Congratulations on learning to live with one.
sounds like the “wife” nagging to me
Props to you for putting up w/ the TV. I make my hubs turn it down so low that he probably has to read lips on the screen, but otherwise I turn into mega-bitch and no one wants that.
matt needs noise to go to sleep too, luckily i’ve adapted to that i’m just glad it isn’t tv any more because that was annoying.
oh the quirks of living together.
Okay minus the talking outside the bathroom thing (um, strange but hey he’s yours)if you and newf had a kid, it would be me…I swear.
I’m everything minus the bathroom thing…
and the unplugging of appliances!
Would you call me benew? Ok, I need to leave now.
Does the newf at least know and/or admit that he snores? My newf won’t admit that he snores (so badly that he chokes himself in his sleep, stops breathing momentarily, and wakes up before falling back asleep), and I’m thinking about recording it as proof.
I was annoyed with my toaster yesterday. I put in the bread and kept pushing down, but they wouldn’t stay. They’d pop right back up. This continued for about 30 seconds until I investigated and found the toaster unplugged. But I guess it’s better that the bread won’t stay down if it’s unplugged because then I won’t wonder about it forever.
#1 would drive me to drink heavily. You DO win!
Wait second, he likes to conserve power but leaves the tv on when sleeping?
oprah would be pissed
You’re right, you clearly win. But I don’t think any of us started reading this doubting that. ^_^
I’m guilty of unplugging random appliances too, but not for green reasons. I’m simply afraid that anything that plugs in might spontaneously burst into flame.
It’s rational. Shut up. ^_^
You’re welcome for the nomination!
Vote for Five Blondes for best group blog?
You are a saint for letting him fall asleep with the TV on, though. I am with you on the total darkness/silence.
Um, talking whilst pooping?
No.
That makes me want to cry.
your adorableness distracts me on a daily basis.
and #5 made my soul die a little too.
Maggots are one of the few things that will make me shriek like a cheerleader.
I just shuddered.
Unplugging the appliances would drive me nuts!
My classroom resides solely in my classroom. It does not come home with me.
And I voted.
My BF is a pckrat, too. I can’t STAND it!!!!
If Oprah says it, you do it. No questions asked. The woman has power.
Off to vote
I had a roommate in college who couldn’t fall asleep without watching Golden Girls reruns. I can’t sleep without darkness and silence. This is when I became dependent upon eye masks and earplugs for a good night’s sleep. I highly recommend the earplugs–especially if the newf snores… like Andrew.
It sounds like you are the perfect mate! Are you still taking applications?
The thing is, I get upset with Eric when he FORGETS to unplug things-it is greener and happier, and I don’t have to be paranoid about the house burning in my sleep.
Eric teases me that I am spic and he is span-I am a bit obsessive about getting the last of any crud at all clean, while he targets clutter. I don’t really care about things on the floor as long as the dogs don’t do their business, and I don’t trip and break something.
Oh, and we had maggots in the compost too–eeeeeew. On the third floor…eeeew.
Correction; what i meant was you being there for him on #5!
LOL- I’m guilty of #1…and my partner was none too happy when his cellphone wasn’t charged. Oprah ruins everything! except Gayle.
This is probably the exact same list I would write about my sister. Luckily we have separate rooms or I would strangle her in her sleep. I’m only half kidding.
I don’t do toilets or mystery tupperware in the fridge.
I also don’t do laundry, dishes, floors, dust.
I am a really shitty maid
I am so so lucky with the BF. I can’t fall asleep without the tv on, but it will wake me up at 3 if I leave it on. If I set the timer, I’ll lay awake waiting for it to go off.
BF falls asleep with me (with the tv on), then turns the tv off at some point during the night, before I wake up.
*sigh*
I hate maggots.
Haha this is a fabulous list… although I admit that I’m guilty of #1 and it drives people crazy. Especially when I go over to their houses and unplug their appliances for them. Without being asked. And then start quoting David Suzuki.
Yeah. I’m that person.
I considered that vote on par with our presidential election.
Great list, and fair and balanced, too. The clean and tidy comparison is an astute one- I had never thought about the difference before.
My roommate does #3 EVERY NIGHT! I need absolute quiet and darkness to fall asleep. My bedtime is around 11. He insists on staying up to watch The Daily Show, even though he is usually past out cold before the opening credits even roll. He has the sleep timer on to turn the TV off at 1am, even though he’s been snoring since midnight. I can pound on his door and yell as loud as I can, but he sleeps so soundly that it doesn’t wake him up.
You should see me the days after he forgot to set the TV timer and doesn’t turn it off until he rolls onto the remote in his sleep at 4am. It happens once or twice a week. Last week? TV didn’t go off until he got up to use the bathroom… at 7am. And then he wonders why I’m so cranky. IT’S BECAUSE I GOT AN HOUR OF SLEEP.
Yeah… This more than makes a little bit of my soul die. You’ll probably read in the papers at some point that his TV will be the blunt object in the middle of my murder trial.
I voted!
#1) Did Oprah ever let her constituents know exactly, HOW MUCH money and power is conserved by unplugging all of your small appliances? I mean, because seriously — If you’re only saving 1/2 kilowatt and $0.02 per hour, then you should totally get to have immediate toast.
#3) I hear you on the perfect darkness, but give you mad props for actually lying awake until the TV goes off… I’d just come to bed late, after the TV had already blacked out. I’m sure you have a much better sex life than I.
The second #2) I think you need to make a trip to the states just to prove, in person, how adorable you are! Us Americans? We like distraction!