Now, I don’t ask you folks for much but when there is an important issue of equality so near and dear to my heart as what I’m about to tell you, there is no time to beat around the bush.
Guidespot discriminates against Canadians.
This is terrible in itself but is made worse because I so desperately want to please Jenn when she posts awesome guides, my exclusion because of my Canadian awesomeness is crippling my quality of life.
Help me make a difference for my country. Join Guidespot (use 90210 if you are Canadian and need a zipcode – not only will it get you in the door, you’ll also feel particularly sassy being listed as living in Beverly Hills) and raise hell on my petition for them to recognize us.
I thank you.
[Update: Guidespot has engaged Canada in a ransom situation in exchange for our inclusion. This must be stopped.]
This message has been approved by the office of Benjamin Boudreau, No Ordinary Rollercoaster superstar.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
For the second year in a row, i have my period on V-day. Talk about a bloody valentine. (Sorry, TMI.)
Fuck candy, lingerie flowers and expensive dinner. I'm getting brunch at my fave spot and my boyfriend's getting a bj for v-day.
hows about handing out some tips to those all alone and single on v-day…apart from the joy of not having to partake in any bj giving wot else can we look forward to?!
another Q-am new here…how is it u r sooo in tune wit the female psyche?!
I hate V-Day. In fact I don't celebrate it. I'm actually the live version of V-Day Scrooge. Just in the female form.
(Honestly I forgot valentine's day is this week due to us being buried under snow.)
By my count this the 4th consecutive year in which I'll be single on v-day. So my mom with enjoy her flowers yet again. And there will be no action had. Unless I get lucky by some act of god.
I also kept waiting for the rice tie-in. At least you in a Quaker hat or SOMETHING.
I am going to point Hubby in the direction of this post pronto. Bi-annual? Then he is good till we are like 80 or so and then let's be real, who has the hips or the knees for it then? Uncle Ben, saver of the knees everywhere! Here's to fewer southward head pushes in my future.
Geesh, TMI.
but i thought uncle ben was going to give me some delicious rice?
i'll take getting laid instead.
that sounds like a perfect valentine's to me. i think mine will involve fondue and an action movie of some sort. sounds like a good trade off.
Last year I bought beer and pizza and took my dude out to a strip club. This year, I'm being wined and dined somewhere pretty and nice BECAUSE HE'S INSISTED that we go out and celebrate.
Clearly, I've upgraded.
(And has earned that bi-annual business)
Ben, this may come in handy when answering the question RE: sex in parks.
http://www.queerty.com/a-nova-scotia-mayor-wants-to-close-a-public-park-to-cruising-heres-why-thats-a-terrible-idea-20100118/
tada!
I don't know. I think one blowjob per year is plenty and enough.
Maybe that's why I don't really get anything for Valentines day?
And let the floodgates open.
Your Valentine's Day will largely resemble mine except except spaghetti instead of pizza and Xena instead of 80's cartoons. Still seven kinds of awesome.
My question is what are the Valentine's Day Do Not's? What things, on Friday, more than any other day will get you the cold shoulder faster than you can say “yes, it does make you look fat”?
Oh and another, in response to the bi-annual blowjob thing. Should cunnilingus be biannual as well? Should there be some kind of sexual barter system in place?
- Your not-quite soul mate
I feel so bad for Narm after reading his comment…
Whoa! Are you saying I only have to give bi-annual blowjobs?
Had I known this before it might have saved me a lot of lock jaw worries.
Man, you really nailed The Crazy.
if a guy plans nothing, not even a clever little something that includes our inside couple faves, then he should expect to feel a lot more teeth during his bi-annuals.
Bi-Annual – that is practically handing out blowjobs. I'm just pumped a new decade started – not sure when I'm going to cash in on this one.
LOL Oh my goodness, I'm too distracted by the anonymous commenter above to still remember my comment! How would Ben know about woodsy meeting areas and their meeting times/secret handshakes!? *rolls eyes*
Oh right! My original comment was going to be that your valentines day is exactly the same as mine, only we watch Wes Anderson movies =)
Please teach a class immediately. I have 10 people I could sign up right now.
you are very wise!
BWahaha! I love this post.
Agreed on the lazy V-days, the Man Friend and I will be drinking a bottle of Dom {a gift from his lovely boss} in our sweatpants while watching How I Met Your Mother {and we're hoping to …uh..disturb…the neighbors a little ifyaknowwhatimean ;}}
People over-hype valentines, it always leads to disappointment.
Wait, wait, wait…bi-annual blow jobs? You mean…it doesn't all get lumped together as a Christmas and birthday present?
Huh. You've opened my eyes…so much…Uncle Ben…