There. I said it.
Unlike what seems to be the rest of the known universe, not once have I reached that euphoric place after watching one of her movies where I want to love her up whilst waving the American flag with a bald eagle soaring above, clutching a terrorist in its talons. As much as I’d love to love her, I just…can’t.
If given the choice, I would never watch another movie about a neurotic, ugly-pretty, professional girl who overcomes her personality disorders through the act of falling in love with men in SHOCKING twists that even a deaf, mute, blind, half-witted hobo living under a rock in the Himalayas can see coming. Unless of course Anne Hathaway is starring.
And now everyone’s all, ‘Aren’t you dying to see The Blind Side?!?!?!’
And I’m all, ‘Sandra Bullock plus Football equals GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE, FREAK.’
Sandra – you had your chance time and time again. I don’t care if this movie is supposed to be all ‘legit’. If your main argument for me to see your movie is, “For once I’m NOT the same character as all my other movies!”, which I presume it is, you deserve a punch in the face because…um…hi…‘I’m finally not mediocre and forgettable’? That ain’t nothin’ to be proud of.
Plus I’ve heard it doesn’t even feature a sexually tense locker room scene with Ryan Reynolds OR Bradley Cooper. For shame, Sandy. For shame. Way to hate gay people.
To be fair, I’m sure Sandra is quite lovely. She seems funny in interviews, loves dogs and has a refreshing self-deprecating sense of humour that I can totally get behind. I mean…accepting Worst Actress at the Razzies in person? Hats off to you, sister.
But holy shit…can she not just pull it together and play an awesome role that we can all really love instead of cop turned pageant model turned secretary turned boss turned activist turned lawyer turned beautiful turned love interest turned happily ever after. Or worse…whatever unholy mess she was in All About Steve.
Yes. I sat through it.
No. Bradley didn’t take off his shirt nearly enough to make it okay.
So yeah. I’m just throwing it out there even though I know many of you won’t want to hear it. I’m pretty sure hating on Sandra Bullock is about as bad as hating Obama, Gay Marriage and Target combined. But hey – pushing the envelope means taking a stance, making a statement and not censoring yourself. Which is why I should also mention that I hate these baby ducks.
{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }
Brian: She was in the sequel??
Andhari: But she DOES. That's the issue.
Penguinboxers: RIGHT??!
Elle: That sounds like a juicy story…
Taren: Never seen it. For real.
um, HELLO? While You Were Sleeping?! Only the best romantic comedy of, like, all time. As far as I'm concerned that one movie only will make up for at least 5 more dumb ones.
Thank you.
I don't hate Sandra Bullock, but as someone who personally knew the family in The Blind Side, I can NOT stomach that shit. Gaaahhhh, head exploding.
“Plus I've heard it doesn't even feature a sexually tense locker room scene with Ryan Reynolds OR Bradley Cooper. For shame, Sandy.”
I just google image searched Bradley Cooper; WHAT THE HELL WHY NOT?!?!
I demand recourse in the form of those two and Hugh Jackman being ambiguously gay.
DEMAND IT.
I think Sandra Bullock is getting really dull. I love chick flicks but if she plays everything chick flick, she must not have a good career. OR serious talent.
No doubt. She is and will always be the star of “Speed 2: Cruise Control”…
…and now she's got a fucking Oscar? Jesus.
I have to admit I have never hated Sandra Bullock, but the way you express your hatred has amused me far more than any of her movies.
I hate Sandra Bullock.
I can't say I hate Sandra Bullock, but she's done some okay movies that I can tolerate. I did actually like her in Love Potion #9. And I haven't seen The Blind Side. Don't really want to either.
WHO ARE YOU?!
jk
I loved her in The Proposal though.
I go back and forth. The self-deprecating humor and puppy love are what throw me. I'd love to hate her otherwise.
I almost got to meet her once. My friend used to work for her husband and I got invited to their Christmas party, but then my dumb friend drank too much and had to be taken home. So I missed my chance.
But if I ever get the chance to meet her again I will tell her how you feel.
Oh, I love you for this.
“While You Were Sleeping” is the only one I can stand. And that's only because of Bill Pullman's husky, husky voice, with a healthy side of Peter Boyle is (was) The Man.
FIRE BAAAAAAAAAAD!
we were JUST talking about Sandra the other day. No one thing makes me dislike her …. but for some reason I just DON'T.
i LOVE her, LOVE her. and i won't hold it against you that you don't feel the same way – you should actually hangout with LexaLemmy, she feels exactly the same way!
I'm considering launching a petition for Bullock to be the next Jack Bauer.
Will you sign it?
So I don't hate Sandra but I certainly don't love her.
I think her real life personality is great – toats my kind of girl, self-deprecating but lovably charming.
But ya, her movies are usually all pretty much exactly the same.
Sandra Bullock runs hot and cold for me. She was better in the Proposal than the Blind Side overall for me. Although damn, the way her a** filled out those clothes, I would go girl for it.
I just watched The Proposal. Didn't care for her acting very much- especially because she played an uptight bitch. But I wanted to mount Ryan Reynolds. Very very badly.
aaagghhh!! i make all your words mine!!
do you not love Speed? how can you not love that one? i mean really, haha.
okay not many people besides myself loves that movie so it's okay i'll give you a pass, i still think you're awesome ben.
Yeah, i'm no fan of Sandra Bullocks either. But she does push the character envelope in Crash.
As for the baby ducks, i was completely with you 'till you wimped out at the end. You wanna hate 'em, then fucken hate 'em!
I have been trying desperately since Speed to figure out what EXACTLY it is about her that makes me so stabby.
Oh.My.God. This post (especially with the remark about the fluffy, cute, yet arrogant ducks) made me ridiculously excited to meet you in Vegas. Anyone who can so brazenly hate on an American Sweetheart deserves a tequila shot in my book.
I couldn't even make it through 30 minutes of “'Steve” when I was stuck on a plane with a screaming child either side of me.
But LOVING the ducks.
So I saw the Blind side and it wasn't really about football, but moreso about the homeless kid getting a home and a family. It made me cry. I don't really care about SB one way or the other…but I have to say the proposal was hilarious…the scene with her and Betty White in the woods…hilarious.
I kind of love her, sorry.
But I do think Gisele Bundchen looks like a hot mess who has been popped in the nose one too many times and I'm pretty sure I'm alone on that one.
Stupid baby ducks!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate them too!!!!
Sandra is hot though. I dont hate her.
I totally was going to call you out on that last one. Who hates baby ducks?
Also, my boyfriend in high school had a major thing for Sandra Bullock. I never understood it either. I mean, she's not bad looking but she's not drop dead gorgeous. And her movies are always just so-so.
I love her. If I die dramatically and heroically (ideally), I want her to play me in my life story. Mostly because she's way prettier and funnier than me and maybe people will think that I'm awesome by proxy? I don't know, this isn't a well thought out plan.
But you have a right to your opinion and you really won me over with those ducks.
You should totally write Obama a letter about your new concept for the American flag. It's worth a shot.
Ps I would absolutely watch a movie about Hugh Grant & baby ducks.
I am a Sandra Bullock semi hater. I watched her movies because the times her movies come out on DVD it is always 2 for 1 at the video store and there is nooooothhhhinnnnggggg else to rent except porn. hmmmmm.
On a completely unrelated note, you have a blog award waiting for you over at my blog. I'm new to your blog, but I love it so far. Thanks for being awesome!
I would watch ANYTHING with Anne Hathaway in it.
I don't particularly like her, but I would certainly have sex with her.
That's not really a stretch. Just mentioning it in case anyone has any connections and can pass that along.
Thanks in advance.
She did play a pretty decent drunk in 28 Days. But then again, I'm a drunk, so I can totally relate.
If you watch The Proposal you get to see Ryan Reynolds naked. So, I'll leave it to you to decide whether 95 minutes of Sandra Bullock is worth it to see RR in the buff.
Please tell me you also hated her Oscar gown. PLEASE. (Because I did. If she hadn't won? It would have been on the WORST dressed list…)
Okay I don't hate her, but I don't love her either. I saw The Blind Side and honestly didn't think it was that much of a stretch for her, from any other character she's done. I've seen her be “tough as nails” before — this wasn't new. Plus, I love Meryl, especially as Julia Child and I think she was robbed of the Oscar that was rightfully hers. Which does make me hate Sandra a bit more.
I don't hate her with the all consuming fire that you do. But I have absolutely no desire to see The Blind Side.
None.
And every time I hear, “but it's soooo good” it makes me want to see it less….
'I'm finally not mediocre and forgettable'? That ain't nothin' to be proud of.
Fuck – I'm going to have to find a new self-affirmation.
I don't hate her, but I don't love her. She just hasn't done anything that amazing. I'm neutral about her.
I kinda love her.
I'm sorry.
Agreed. I'd rather have watched those ducks for 2 and half hours than have sat through Ms. Congeniality.
Thank you. I too loath Sandra Bullock. After all the JJ crap, I got a good idea why. The woman is a complete flake. And 45 is wayyyyyyy too old to be “America’s Sweetheart” – I mean, it’s just creepy.
She reminds me of the good natured suburban nitwits I work with – bland, “nice”, fake, and desperate to be “liked”.
Ugh.
The Proposal. She wins because of The Proposal.
There are others like me.
This is refreshing.
Long ago I thought about writing a post about how much I dislike Sandra but thank goodness I didn’t because this post is soooo much better. Thank you for expressing what I could not.
Here I am, standing in the very short line of peeps who don’t much like Sandra Bullock. She is what, 46? Adopting a baby of a totally diff race at a late age because she forgot to have her own? Known for playing lightweight fartsy roles and still gets an Oscar? that’s my Sandra. Nope, don’t like her and don’t care who does.
Sandra Bullock is just horrific, painful, and simply the worst actress I’ve ever known
{ 1 trackback }