Dear Diary,
One of the goals of my mom (Liz) has been to get me to go to the bathroom outside. At first I was upset about this notion. The world is my toilet, to defecate on as I see fit. It dawned on me, though. Every time I had to go to the bathroom, I got to go outside. Recently I’ve had to start communicating to mom that I need to go to the bathroom. Apparently she has this “job” she does “full time” from home, so she’ll lose track of time; she needs the reminders. (Why her full time job isn’t me, I have no idea. That’s another issue for another time.) Well I’ve started faking my “Need to spray upon the soil of this land!” communications, and it’s great, let me tell you. I highly recommend it.
She’ll rush to get me leashed up, usually tripping over herself or nothing, and we’ll rush outside. It’s at that point I will romp freely. She’ll wait in vain, occasionally chiming in “Horatio! Go potty!” As if her commands have meant anything to me in the past, heh.
Eventually she’ll give up, but I still earned 10 minutes of satisfying freedom.
…and five minutes later I’ll go winkie on the carpet. It’s a win-win. Well, for me at least.
Bones,
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Teehee.
Speaking of instinctual rage…
I remembering telling my middle school students during our evolution unit that dachshunds were bred to be able to go into tunnels and kill badgers.
Useless but related fact of the day for you!
those bloggers are fun kids eh? that picture is priceless.
Does it have large talons?
You have the best readers!
Argh!!! Oh no, poor doggy. He looks so tiny in the photo.
Your blog seriously brightens my day! I’m so glad I found you on Tia’s! You rock just as much as she does!!!
Reminds me of a woman who just spotted a good catch at the church bizarre (LOL)
Hahaha – that’s fabulous. And hilarious. And well, what would we do without our blogging friends?!
I choose Option number one.
Everyone likes a hero.
did i already say that i love your blog? i do.
I think the newf *is* the Flash. Or at least I hope he is.
Sounds like you need an Ernie to keep the Eagles at bay.
I rent him out for very reasonable rates.
You forgot the part where “Eye of the Tiger” would be playing in the background!
Thanks for answering my question – I’ve always wondered what to do in case of bald eagle attack.
Thanks for not pointing out how sad I am for having so much time on my hands….
Lil’ Theo doesn’t have a chance. He looks like a mouse in this picture, but the cute kind. Like the ones from Ratatouille.
But would he get there fast enough…sadly by the looks of the photo unless he was The Flash, Theo would be no more
(I think thats Theo, don’t kill me for mixing up your pups if I am in fact wrong)