[Editor's note: Sent to anyone silly enough to suggest helping and even some who didn't.]
Hello lovelies!
As you all know, the boys are moving to the ‘burbs on the weekend of June 27-July 1. No more hobo melodrama or excessive amounts of stairs!
I know that many of you have expressed interest in seeing the place which I have conveniently interpreted as, “please let us help you!” Suckers…
Actually, it won’t be so bad. Professional movers are lugging everything for us on Sunday. Plus, we’ll have the kitchen, bathroom and BBQ set up over the course of the weekend so that visitors can at least eat, drink and poop.
You’ll learn that these things are essential in setting up a house.
We welcome anyone interested in painting, hanging things, or unpacking boxes to lend a hand in exchange for food and booze on Canada Day (Tuesday). Dogs are more than welcome in the huge fenced-in yard. Of course, if you are lazy or incompetent, you can still come. But be prepared to DJ, mix drinks or otherwise entertain the workers…
I know some of you have plans that weekend so don’t worry if you can’t make it. Although, you will be placed firmly on the shit list for not helping. (Just kidding…or am i?). You’re more than welcome any time, just give a call to let us know you’re coming. Don’t feel like you should invite yourself over, we’d love to have you but we’ll really be too house-absorbed to send out individual invites! 
That’s it. Hope to see you all soon!
{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }
Hahahaha the fake pregnancy always makes me smile. Probably because it’s not something I’ll ever have to worry about.
Although I’m surrounded by friends who are preggers and some who are actually on their SECOND one, I am happy to tell you I am not and have no plans to be in this decade. Unless I feel like I need an excuse to demand the Modern Beau marry me … kidding, kidding.
Nicotine Queen, I agree with you, what’s up with forfeiting your identity once you have a baby? Baby pictures on facebook is fine. Baby picture AS your facebook picture is a weird transference of identity.
Not to rain on your parade… but your rocky road of no drunken blogs is going to be longer than 6 months… You can’t drink while you’re breastfeeding.
How will you survive???
everyone’s preggo right now …and it’s totally bugging me! IF you got pregnant before me, I would really lose it
dude. you don’t have to worry about any crazy preg stories from ME.
strictly blither-blather and Hubs-shenanigans.
and wait a minute, what??! when i get pregnant i have to stop DRINKING? wtf? eff that then.
=P i miss your face.
Also… WHOOO! Comment number 69!!!
Heh heh heh.
I’m not mature enough for babies.
i had three bloggers i read all say they were pregnant within a week of each other, it was insanity. and there are still new pregnant people popping up everywhere. i think there’s something in the water…
Trust me, people have been saying that to me for about 8 years now. Children and babies repulse me and being around my nephew, who I LOVE, still reminds me how much I DON’T want any.
Ben- You rock!
When you and the newf grow-up a little, Not saying you need to grow up, but you are young….
When you get older and are ready to start a family. Call me, I will help you adopt! Then you will understand all the excitement of the new addition blogging!
I can’t wait for the day! You will be an awesome parent!
I’d like to say that I won’t post gross pregnancy stuff…but I can’t make that promise.
Of course, one actually has to get pregnant first.
Ummm…yea, thanks for not posting the pregnant porn!
How are so many people pregs right now? Seriously, I would like to know so I can do the OPPOSITE OF (MOST OF) THOSE THINGS.
haha this is too good!!! lol love it!
Yeah, i’m waiting until 30. AT LEAST.
Definitely an epidemic.
My ovaries know and respect my disdain for children. It’s a good thing we have going.
Not pregnant. Not gonna BE pregnant. Don’t wanna read about pregnant. Don’t wanna read about babies. Will skip entries involving babies in blogs I love to read (or maybe read them as back-up birth control).
Sober blogging? I don’t think I understand that phrase. Let me get back to you.
there can’t be anything pretty about pregnant porn?? I usually asked my hubby to turn the light off…Sorry more visual…sooooo how about the AMA? So borrrinnggg…
Mommy blogs immediately make me stop reading. I TOTALLY think a person can be pregnant and NOT blog about it.
I feel your pain. Babies have been attacking my very being in real life for the past 2-3 years but has gotten really bad this past year. All my friends have kids or are preggo. The pressure IS ON. Damn it. I am having too much fun doing whatever I want, whenever I want and drinking whatever I please.
What image searches are you doing for pregnant porn?
Send them this….. oh good god thats horrible Ben!
you can send them anyway.
My brother just had a baby about 8 months ago and she’s just now becoming fun to me. Diapers and stuff though, no thanks, im straight.
I agree with you though ben. There’s a serious epidemic this year of people I know getting Preggo!
I promise you: I AM NOT PREGNANT, I HAVE NO PLANS TO BE PREGNANT, and I’m actually quite afraid of babies.
Is this due to the Obama baby boom??!
It really is an epidemic. While children are wonderful and all…no thanks.
I’m quite content spoiling them rotten and then sending them home.
Um, no babies over here any time soon. I don’t want to be tied down for a long time.
I have this odd phobia that if we were to ever announce a pregnancy, people would know what we were doing to get there–I mean, it’s obvious right, but I still don’t like it. Adoption it is (probably)–but not in this decade.
No way Jose! No preggers for me! That words and all that goes with it frightens me.
My sister is pregnant. Congrats to her. Have at it!
But it still frightens me. *shutter*
Aww that’s so sweet that they’re all knocked up:D
I mean what a wonderful time for you – aren’t you so excited or what? You’ll get to learn so many baby things for your future reference.
Those posts made me want to get knocked up again for the third time:)
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving my dear. ps – are you going to bake Thursday??
This post made me laugh and then … cringe. I’ve been married for 3 freaking months and the contents of my uterus are a hot topic in my family. Which makes my head melt because I’m still all “oooohhh a puppy!” and nowhere near “oooohhh a baby!”
Bastards.
I’m feeling good about this month. Wish me luck! Send me good thoughts! Say a prayer! Hell high five Dan while he’s doing me, I don’t care, I just want a f*cking baby!!!!
I must agree…There was alot of sex this summer.
Sorry…I guess I have been extra fertile lately.
pregnancy left me with post traumatic stress syndrome…
just a warning to the other 1/2 of you who arent pregnant yet!
Maybe you should get a puppy. Or start carrying the weiners around in a baby bjorn.
If my dogs didn’t outweigh me, I’d totally do it. As it stands, Dexter is getting a bike trailer for Christmas so I can pull his arthritic-ass around behind me on my bike.
I can still drink and do that, though.
So I see your entire Google Reader-ship is sexually active female bloggers.
That can only mean I agree with Aine Caitriona: more pregnancy porn.
Um…I feel like a pariah.
Believe me, if you think you have a pregnancy-phobia, it’s NOTHING compared to mine.
Damn those tic-tacs.
1. I’m disappointed by the lack of pregnancy porn. Now, obviously, I have some Googling ahead of me.
2. I am never having a baby. Never. I’ll raise one, but damned if I’ll, ugh, push one out. Ewww.
3. You mean prayer isn’t a sound method? This explains why the amount of first cousins I have rivals Mariah’s entourage.
Oh wait. I didn’t tell you? I’m …
not even close to pregnant! =) Just married and enjoying newlywed life (though not blogging about THAT)! So, come stop by if you ever get bored of the baby-talk. =)
I’m so happy for the two of you!
We’re knee deep in the pregnancies, that’s for sure – should be cute as heck! Beware!
I <3 you. You make me laugh.
My sister just told me that she’s pregnant. She’s making a big family announcement on my birthday. You know, so she can be all, “HI! Look! I’m married and fertile and am going to have ANOTHER baby! Look what a lovely contrast that makes with my old hag-like spinster sister!”
Ahem. Thanks for letting me vent. My sister reads my blog. I’m planning on drinking in front of her as much as possible in the next 7 months.
I have many friends that are pregnant and I am hoping I don’t catch it. I don’t want kids for a few more years. I am too young. I have places to go, things to drink, many life lessons to learn.
I didn’t even know they did pregnant porn…*shudder*
I know a lot of peope that are pregnant right now. None of my friends are thank God. I couldn’t handle it.
There is only one thing that annoys me about pregnancy. Well it’s not even about pregnancy. It’s after the baby comes. I find a lot of mothers get a little too obessed. I mean I know it’s your baby and it’s cute and what not but I didn’t have the child so don’t impose your child on me. I am dealing with this right now with my boyfriend’s sister. She just had a baby and wants her baby to be the centre of everyone’s universe. Understandable if the baby is the centre of mommy’s universe but I have better things to do like drink.
No worries here. I’m not pregnant and don’t plan on getting pregnant anytime soon. Pregnant Porn? Seriously? There’s something wrong with that.
Um, ya no thanks. Do NOT want to be preggers anytime soon!
I thought I was pregnant once, but it was just indigestion.
Pregnant porn? Like, Kathryn Heigl doing Seth Rogen?
Oh man, I remove anybody who sober-blogs from my reader. Sober blogging is like sober karaoke. Doesn’t happen.
Ok… DID I MISS OBVIOUS SARCASM THERE???
Sorry for being beyond-Bush-stupid, but may I assume you’re…… NOT ADOPTING?
First of all, THANK YOU for saving us from pregnant porn… I don’t think I’d ever be able to look at my preggers girlfriends the same again.
Second, I’d like to raise my glass to all the ladies out there in the blogosphere who think there’s still plenty of time for that mommy crap later, and who choose to keep the wine cabinet (and their glasses) full! *clink!*
There will be no baby-blogging on OneWandering ANYTIME in the near future, or the future after that!