It’s time to win, bitches!
Thanks for all the entries on the contest I posted earlier this week even though most of you are sneaky and can’t be entered anyway because you’re too busy being all American up in this hizzy. In other news, I’ve had too much caffeine today and it’s making me sweary and Snoop Doggy for no particular reason.
So. I’ve pulled out the names of all the Canadian entrants and put them in a list. Then I put that list in another list. And then I took that list and folded it into an origami swan. And then I floated that swan across a pond. And then the swan flew away and came back with only a single name remaining in some act of clandestine paper swan selection ritual.
Or…I just took the first list and shoved it into a randomizer at random.org which is credible because it uses word combinations that have no meaning to us simple folk. Behold its jargony power:
This form allows you to arrange the items of a list in random order. The randomness comes from atmospheric noise, which for many purposes is better than the pseudo-random number algorithms typically used in computer programs.
Algo-what? Atmospheric-who? I don’t know what the shit that’s supposed to mean but essentially trust that I in no way rigged this contest no matter how many of you Yanks asked that I would. Once you start getting Brand About Town to send me free Nintendo Wiis and Gap jeans (I have a predominantly American audience, send me your free junk, goddamnit!), I’ll start hooking you up with all this Canadian badassness.
So, the winner is the person who appears in the top slot following the randomization of the pseudo-algorithmic atmospheric noise from the collective farts of the universe. Or something.
Now, Virgina, don’t let anyone ever tell you that throwing up at an Adam Lambert concert was a bad thing because you just won a free, brand new, tricked out Flip MinoHD valued at $229.99. BAM. Send me an email (use the ‘Tickle My Fancy’ button because it makes the whole process seem sluttier) and I’ll arrange for delivery. Then, you have to send me a video of something flirty and intimate because I just decided that that should be part of the deal and it’s too late for you to back out because you already won.
Bwauahahahaha.
[Thanks to AXE Canada for hooking us up with some nice swag. Come back whenever you need a sell-out. I'm totally here for you.]
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Awesome, and when did your blog enter into the next level of snazzy?! I’m behind and all, but sheesh. Glad you’re feeling better, Benjamin.
Catch up, girl! We’re officially the new internet hotness.
New great idea: record some sort of flirty video on the camera before I send it to Virginia. Suggestions welcome.
“snoop doggy”.
loves it.
Respect.
I don’t think Virginia’s really Canadian.
I’d also tickle your fancy any time.
Any. Time.
You’re welcome.
You can tickle my fancy all night long, if you’re up for it.
Did this get weird?
It got weird.
*puts on my ‘i’m a good sport mask* .. Congratulations Virginia!
I wouldn’t bother with pleasantries. THROW DOWN. TAKE A STAND.
Oh wait – we’re Canadians.
OH. MY. GOD. Shut up. Slap my ass and call me Susan. No freakin’ way. Who knew, throwing up at an Adam Lambert concert would win me a prize. HOLY CRAP. No disrespect to Adam, because hey I lurv him.
K’ once I find the slutty button I will e-mail. Geez I am too excited to find the button. SQUUUEEEEEEE… K.
Congrats!!!
P.S. I will blog about my win and link you up.
I like the phrase: ‘link you up’
A lot.
I feel a bit victimized because I am American and therefore automatically disqualified, but then, I am a bit kinky and may have victimization fantasies which make me okay with all that……so, we will move past it. Also, as a smarter than average sneaky American who has Canadian friends, I could have totally used one of their addy’s so you could have just shipped the little beauty to them. Le’sigh. Alas, Virginia, sly devilish thing that she is hid you from me until after she won. Secret is out now. Watch out world, or Canada, ya’ know, same difference, right?
Dear Shawn – I will immediately begin soliciting American contests and happyfuntimes. Please hold.
DAMMIT! Congrats, Virginia. Take sexy videos.
You better bring yours to tape the antics next week.
Wait… actually, no.
It’s better if there’s no evidence.
It’s coming.
Axe Canada, eh? Man, if deodorant gives away technology in Canada then I should get the hell out of the States and set up shop in the Great White North.