It’s not often that I blog under the influence, probably because I so rarely AM under the infleunce anymore, but since tonight is a Tuesday and I am officially shmammered, I consider it a special occasion worth posting.
I met up with a client/BFF/mentor for some beverages at the local irish pub, played some serious Rockband/Guitar Hero and stumbled my way home with some sweet-ass quotes. These quotes will not be attributed to anyone (which – to any smart person – means that they are mine and largely offensive) but are definitely worth posting before I forget them.
“Peer pressure is lame, but being thin is awesome.”
“I’m make-out-with-a-stranger drunk.”
To the new friend who is a corrections officer:
“Did you just say all your colleagues are inbred?”
“-No, he said they’re all in prison.”
“Oh okay. I just figured…being from Cape Breton and all…”
Only funny to people in the Halifax area:
“I’m going on a Sex and the City bus tour.”
“No way! In Sackville?” *immediately realizing what a dumb question that was and wondering why Sackville was put forth versus NYC.
“Ummm…..not so much.”
From Mom after arriving home (yes, I am still at my parents’ until Friday)
“Ugh. Just please don’t spill aspirin all over the bathroom and giggle about it again.”
The SATC Sackville bus tour is currently in the works featuring bars and apartments that have never seen the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker. Reservations are required.
Goodnight all and not a moment too soon.
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
balls and charity, i like it
Haha! I love it! And the charity? Awesome.
lol! You said on Rachel’s blog not to click here so of course I had to. So sentimental. Aw. The guy loves his balls. Warms the cocks of my heart.
Ribs and nuts? Does it really matter what it’s for? Those are two of my favorite things!
You may be right but I prefer to think of some dirty Cartman guy sitting in the dark, chuckling “hee hee. balls. hee hee”
I can’t believe anyone would be offended by using some humor in the fight against cancer!! Apparently no one told them that laughter is the best medicine. I also wonder if these people are equally offended by the breast cancer awareness charities who are rife with double entendres.
Anything that creates awareness about cancer, especially something like testicular cancer that people are often embarrassed to talk about is a good thing! Good for you for helping to get the message out there!
Ben, you’re probably thinking that I got here by way of the sites we mutually read, but no. It was by way of my ordinary daily google search for nuts, ribs, and testicles. Check your log. No, your website log.
I won’t be able to attend the ribs4nuts thing because Dewolfe Park, Bedford, is in a whole different goddamn country, but I ate some nuts earlier today and later I will probably have some ribs, so I am already there in spirit.
Testicle Day may be the most beautiful thing I have ever heard of. Thank you. No, really, thank you, my friend.
I may hold a testicle party here in New York. But I may be the only attendee. Still, a party’s a party, right? Right?
I would love to think of a pun but think they’ve all been done – bollocks!!!
Anyway, I couldn’t help but think of this advert after reading your post http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu2K4eIqxd4
BALLS! I just wanted to say that…it was fun.
Why don’t you go all balls out this weekend?
Eh? Eh?
I’m awful.
I 100% support your non-censored post. Hooray!
also-
I dont know why…
but your word verification thingy hates me. I fight with it daily.
You’re too nice with your “if I’ve offended you” statement. Mine would most definitely have been followed by “fuck off!”
Wish I could be there. I’m pro the saving of testicles. And ribs.
Sometimes I will get distracted by the stress-ball like feeling of a good nutssack. And oh man, I can’t believe I just typed that. Nuts are inherently funny, and I think that’s why I prefer to rock this pair of ovaries.
I say nuts to cancer!
See what I did there?
My new grad school had a big testicular cancer awareness day at the end of the spring semesters. Signs everywhere said “Save your boys!”, replete with two well-placed balloons attached below the signs. It was the most open and awesome event I’ve seen, outside of Gay Pride.
Any day is a good day to celebrate balls. Can we expect pictures from the event?
I was balls deep in this post.
Hey – what did you expect? I’m the 26th commenter. All the good ball jokes were taken already.
Ben you are nuts.
I wish we were heading to Halifax tomorrow so I could come eat meat and feel balls! I mean…raise awareness for balls!
Heading over there Sunday morning so hopefully we can get together for drinks (and karaoke? Possibly?)
Can’t wait!
Have an awesome time at the bbq
Balls and BBQ- what’s not to love!! We need to syndicate this event for Chicago…we’re big fans of both down here!
Have a blast and hopefully puppy will have recovered by then!
I love it! What a great event!
Ben, I love you.
Hey, every June around these here parts, theres a Testicle Festival!! Now, it’s not what you are thinking….it’s where people take and fry up various animal testes and eat them.
Yeah—-I live in hickville USA.
That is awesome! What a great event! And I totally agree that talking about it is a positive thing.
Balls.
There, I did my part. :p
Wow! Thanks for bringing this to my attention! I would loooove to go because this girl loves ribs, but since I have birthday plans (right after nursing a hangover that will occur after tonight’s wedding party debauchery) I’ll have to pass. However, I cut a cheque for them. Still doesn’t taste as good as ribs, but it’ll have to do.
Balls!
That was Tom Green’s Balls song. Not mine.
Although I wish it was.
It’s good.
Holy testicles! Someone got offended??
Sorry, I just really wanted to say testicles. Fantastic word really.
I Wish I could join in on some rib eating for a good cause… sounds like it’s going to be good times!
Tell your Pooch I”m sorry he lost his manhood!
What the balls!
I think this is great Ben I really do! I also cannot imagine that anyone would be offended by this, it’s such a good cause!!
Also…testicles. I just had to type that as I probably won’t ever get the chance again.
Someone was actually offended? That, my friend, is crazy. We can have a “Save the Ta-Tas” campaign for breast cancer but you want to “Save the Boys” and we’re all offended?! *sheesh*
Enjoy your nuts. Err… I mean the fund raiser/BBQ/Testical Party. Sounds like a blast.
ps. Ben, I didn’t know you were a veggie too! We must swap recipes! OMG! I sound like my mother. EEK!
I can’t wait to party down for nuts!
I mean ribs.
Er….awkward.
At least I’ll get to play with some weiners while I’m there!
Oh…
Let me try this again: I can’t wait to see you and nom on some good food with you at N4R this weekend!
I was a little scared when I saw I was linked to this post. I was beginning to wonder if I was hiding something from even MYSELF that you figured out about me.
I agree with the Dutchess, we need a bumper sticker for this!
Oh balls! I wish I could be there. Save the Testicles is great cause. I think I need to design a bumper sticker for this!
so I’ve been sitting here trying to think of an awesome pun but I can’t think of any… nuts!
wow. that was lame.
wait.
i got nuttin.
lame again. i quit.
amen to nuts and ribs.
seriously. where would our lives BE without those two important nouns?!
:> eat some ribs for me, and celebrate nuts! (i'll be working)
Awesome!!
And .. balls!