Since I don’t seem to be keeping to any level of consistency or frequency in posting about Calvin, I would like to apologize to those expecting puppy updates and those looking to avoid them (you horrible, horrible people). But honestly, life with the pooch while house-sitting has been relatively calm and pain-free after that one bump along the road (Yes, envisioning your dog’s dead body tangled up in a pile of electrical cords is now known as a bump).
His stomach problems seem to be getting marginally better although we still have another four weeks to go until we get to start challenging what seem to be allergies. He is still on the ever-so-delicious low molecular weight Hydrolyzed protein which – I’m sure you’d all agree – sounds good enough to taste. On the downside, what used to be tear-around-like-your-ass-is-on-fire time in the glorious fenced-in backyard has turned into run-away-from-Ben-whilst-eating-many-twigs-and-leaves-only-to-throw-up-on-the-floor-later time. As expected, “Catch the Calvin” is still his favourite game. “Suppress the Rage” is mine.
Thanks to the warm weather, I’ve been able to have him out on three mile walks every day for about a week now. I like him better tired. He likes me better thin. We all win. As a reward, he gets to lounge about in the sun, watching people walk by through the glass door and I get to enjoy alone time by eating Dairy Queen Blizzard Cake.
We have one week left in obedience class and he still the star pupil (I’m your basic Starsearch Parent). However, at home he becomes a moody teenager who gives me major ‘tude every time I ask him to sit before crossing streets. We were in a big fight by the time we got home today.
Thanks to the classes and our walks, his love of every dog he sees is growing and we’re going to have to work on teaching him other ways to express that than throwing a tantrum. After terrorizing his brother Tofu (who is joining us for two days while his folks scamper off to Italy – Happy Birthday Kimberly!), he proceeded to beat up Shopsy (again) over the weekend who is three months younger and three pounds lighter.
Lastly, for the non-dog-owners (sane people), please…for me…appreciate the fact that you can yawn in the mornings without a puppy shoving his entire snout in your mouth without you noticing.
I love you too, Calvin.
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Angela: I know, right? ONE thing. Too hard.
Heather: I’m not even going to pretend that I care about anything besides cheese.
The first post I ever read on this blog involved cheese. The first comment you left me mentioned cheese.
The Cheeseness!
That IS really tough. I know that I wouldn’t be able to find one prop that represented me. Good luck with thinking of one!
I reckon go with a cute pooch friend.
Perhaps even a pokemon attack pose.
hahaha.
good luck. let us know what you chose.
Wow. A prop? Why not the broken martini glass and shaker? Or Maxie’s idea. Either would be good in my opinion…
Also, I feel bad the photographer has to deal with those props. Ugh.
Hahahaha … a prop?!?! Seriously!?!
I say you bring something that has to do with the blog. Like holding a photo of you slaving away at your computer, tapping out a post.
How about a rollercoaster crafted out of poutine? Or… crafted out of the dachshund feces…Either would certainly make a statement..
haha, you seriously crack me up. i would have so much trouble with that too. but i like maxie’s idea best
Can you pose with your computer? Did someone already say that? I’m too tired to read all the comments today.
Or the feces could work too.
Mmmm… *thinking hard*
What about going, you know, ‘bare’ (read here : nekkid).
oh gosh that sucks…i would go with a keyboard with a little dachshund figurine or plushie to the side. or maybe a dachshund typing on a computer?! gosh i’m so clever.
i love doing work things like this. i’m still trying to forget the mortifying video i’m in on my company’s website…no, i do not work for a porn company.
So, is the deal that you can’t have two props in the picture? Like, would the broken martini glass and tipped-over shaker be illegal because it is two props and not just one?
I say you beat up a Moleskine and fill two pages with frantic, illegible scribbles. The moleskine open to those pages, that’s your prop.
If you can have more than one item in the frame, how about a martini glass filled with black ink with a fountain pen dripping ink laying beside it?
But I like the steaming turd, too.
Are we voting? ‘Cause I wanna vote.
Martini glass.
It says “fun and outgoing” yet “slightly irresponsible” (which can also mean fun) at the same time.
Yeah, I’m going to have to go with Theo’s ass for this one. Then, have someone photoshop in the words “pokemon attack!” over it. Yes. That will do nicely.
I don’t understand what the problem is with number 3.
The only suggestions I can come up with are inappropriate. And while normally I’d say go with one of those, since it’s work related and bosses tend to frown upon crap like that, I’ll skip it.
But if it wasn’t…oh man, I’d have suggestions galore.
Your prop should be a roller coaster that isn't ordinary.
Done & Your welcome!
Go with the cheese!!
everyone likes cheese, trust me!
I’m not sure if someone said this yet, but bring in the dachshunds! Both of them! Live props!
Or, um, maybe a pad and paper? You’re a writer!
No, go with the puppies.
I used to be in advertising and that’s exactly the kind of annoying crap they would make us do.
“Take this blade of grass and turn it into something no one has ever seen before.”
Ugh…Good luck with that. I would personally go with typewriter…craig’s list.
A laptop or a pen and paper to show the writer in you, of course!
(Now get rid of him before the newf gets home.)
(Sorry, just my bad attempt at humour.)
ahahahaahha …why not a little doggie figurine?
Personally, I think you should use a typewriter. You love to write although you use a computer. I think a typewriter gets across the idea of the writer so much better.
I vote for the feces spread like a pate on crackers, with cheese on the side. You’ll definitely stand out, and I bet you won’t be overwhelmed with too many dinner invites–killing two birds with one stone.
Your weiner.
Interpret that as you will.
So you’re going with the dog at this point? Good call. It was either that, or your harem of bloggeresses(?)… Or whatever we are.
I think you should be sipping a martini, smoking a cigar (you must be wearing a smoking jacket as well) and have Theo (in a monogrammed cape) standing on your lap.
Only one?! That’s just not fair. Yeah sorry I have no ideas.
I think you should use something really off the wall that will have people saying “Oh….I didn’t know that….” like a sombrero (“I’m half Mexican!”) or Scientology book (“I’m half crazy!”)
You should use a picture of a blog (whatever that is). Like your background on here on a PC. Although that might draw employers’ attentions to your blog and this is never a good thing. Bugga. You’re screwed. Daschund it is!
I think we need for you to post a few test shots please. We will help you select the best one.
I particularly like the puppy poop idea.
I would show up in a circa-1920s baseball uniform and make them take it like you’re going to be on the front of a Wheaties box.
But that’s just me.
goddammit. I just seen your comment back to Maxie.
I was here first though in the whole scheme of things. Remember, I have dibs.
(bitches)
Well, I half-retract that. You don’t love ALL things dog, because seriously, who loves dog poop? But you get the idea.
Is a keyboard too obvious?
Okay, bear with me for a second…
Given that the idea I have of you in my head is that you secretly want to take over the world to use in some sort of evil plot involving Daschunds and Newfoundlanders, I think your picture should look something like those Calvin and Hobbes strips where Calvin builds a city and then as a T-Rex/Godzilla/Random Monster of the Day absolutely obliterates it to the horror of his mother/teacher/Suzie Perkins.
So yeah…you with a maniacal grin stomping on a scale model of Halifax or Toronto or whatever. That would be cool.
What about Theo crammed into an oversized martini glass which is held by newf who is munchin’ on some cheese.
yeah, that’d be cool….
What about a stuffed dachshund. It’ll smell a lot better than feces, anyhow.
What about the “thumb” from the Pokemon video? I mean that counts for something, right?!
How about a sign that says “I Am Awesome.” That would be a pretty cool prop. Maybe they’d let you actually bring in your dog. Or how about a bunch of shot glasses! that would be classy.
The start of this post reminded me a bit of that Heritage Moment where they’re choosing a new Canadian flag.
I suggest something people will remember, like a samurai sword or the arc of the covenant.