This is an uncomfortable post. You have been warned.
A very wonderful and local blogger featured me yesterday in her quest to write exactly 100 words every day for 365 days, each post highlighting someone who – for better or worse – has had an impact on her life. Luckily, I fell into the ‘for better’ category.
I am number fifty. Her post blows my mind. I don’t know how she developed that perception of me and I certainly don’t know if I deserve it, but I’m incredibly flattered nonetheless. I have my own real-life idols in my social circle that I strive to emulate but I really don’t think I’m worthy of that status myself. I’m just trying to find my place – I think that’s the theme for a lot of twenty-somethings – and on occasion, I manage to take a big step in the right direction. Aside from that, I’m surprisingly normal.
I talk about a lot of stuff here but most of it is pretty frivolous. It makes me wonder about the actual perceptions people have of me from reading NOR. Other bloggers open up and share really intense parts of their lives and somedays I wish I were able to do more of that. So, since I’ve been tagged for another meme, despite my ongoing protests, here’s a dose of perspective.
It’s as good a time as any to purge some hangups before heading into a whole new, exciting chapter of my life.
[Real life friends, I'd prefer not having to discuss these things ever again especially in person. Understand that this is more of a cathartic exercise than opening the lines of communication on these topics. Kthxbai.]
1) I remember deciding when I was 11 or 12 years old that I was fat. I still haven’t shaken that feeling to date despite drastically dropping from 150lbs to 122lbs in my first year of university and still wearing smalls and extra smalls today. I still hate being seen without a shirt on.
2) I figured out the career path that I wanted to follow when I was in tenth grade and I chased it relentlessly, disregarding all other options. Even still, I almost threw it all away for my first love. That continues to makes me feel really stupid and naive.
3) I feel guilty for having always taken so much attention away from my brother.
4) I was once stuck in a manipulative and dangerous relationship that taught me simultaneously how weak and strong I can be. It ended over two-and-a-half years ago but I still don’t feel as safe or comfortable in the city as I used to. Every single time I look over my shoulder, I still get angry.
5) There are only about five people from high school that I ever want to see again. Ever. If I could erase myself from the memories of all the others, I would do so in a heartbeat.
6) You know when people say they have no regrets? I think that’s bullshit.
7) I daydream all the time. Sometimes, I think about achieving wild success and critical acclaim. I pull from those dreams on occasion to actually see if I can make them happen – sometimes it turns out to be pretty fun. Other times, I’ll dream about the worst possible things that could happen to me – people getting sick, dying, losing everything – and I’ll think of different ways that I would be able to cope. Just in case.
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Ahahaha, I love the cheese one! I should probably try and remember that…..;-)
My Post-It would probably say “Live life in the moment.”
Because I tend to think too much, and spend too much time remembering and analyzing the past.
HAHA!!! “You’re not the general manager of the universe.” That’s great!!! Especially because it is your mom that has it on a post-it in her kitchen, and I think my mom needs that same one!!! Damn, that one made me laugh out loud at my desk…
Mine would say:
“Leinie’s Honey Wiess!”
Simple. To the point. And would make me smile.
I would definitely have a post-it (or a few of them) that would all say, “Stop worrying – it’s not your problem.”
LOVE the quote! I was just going to buy that movie today!
awesome awesome post… Is Ben back??!! You inspired me for a blog post of my own about all the yellow notes all around… Thanks…
My post-it would say:
“It is possible that other people maybe right…”
So my roommate and I just leave post-its for each other all over the apartment. Granted we never get to anything too important. With one exception–she’s had one from me on her door for about 5 months now and all it says is “Chinese tonight?” Actually, we enjoy keeping that one there.
Sometimes I would wake up thinking all about what I have to do and it becomes a.. Me Me Me… time.
My post it would say:
People revolve around each other, not everything is about you.
I can be self-centered sometimes.
“do not make the ipod face” … apparently, I walk around with a snotty “ipod face” that makes people not want to talk with me and assume that I am a colossal megabitch when really I am just a lighthearted imp full of fun and frolic.
My Post-It?
“Just breathe. You can’t put your foot up everyone’s ass.”
“Make sure your fly is up… but first, make sure you are wearing pants.”
Mine will say: “Ask if they have a business women's special”. Ha! Kidding but I love Romy & Michele's High School Reunion… I'm really diggin your tie-in to post-its with that quote/title.
Okay so my post its would say:
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today”
“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain”
“Acceptance.”
I need it right now. For a lot of things in my life.
There was a post-it on my cupboard for about five years that said the following:
EAT PEANUT BUTTER TOAST.
Genius, I know.
My best advice TODAY (since I have no trouble remembering to eat)? “Life is short. Have the cheesecake. Make out often.”
“don’t give up what you want most, for what you want at the moment”
I actually DO have a post-it note stuck to my door. Well, actually it’s just something I scrawled on a peice of paper and stuck to the door with masking tape.
It says “TRY HARDER”.
Fear and disgust are the greatest motivators of all.
You don’t need another beer.
“When life hands you lemons…trade ‘em for olives and make a martini.”
“Your worth is not measured by who loves you (or doesn’t) and how much (or how little) they love you.”
Okay so my post-it notw would say
“Fairytales may not be true, but there IS a prince out there for you!”
Actually im gonna go and stick it up now! great idea
I need one that says “Put down the McMuffin you cow.”
Or “Getting high and playing video games does not equal productivity. And it definitely does not get you a boyfriend.”
Sigh. I’m a mess.
“Dirty dishes and difficult choices will not go away no matter how much you ignore them.”
I was reminded of this last night after washing a very full sink of dishes (stinky!) and making some big decisions about my future.
I’d probably stick, “Stop managing everyone else’s life and start living your own.”
But, the most likely Post-It you’d find would be “Don’t forget to close the cupboard,” to the inside of every one of my cupboards because my boyfriend has this tendency to leave every single cupboard or drawer open.
” a job doesnt define you. especially when you no longer have one”
Is my one today.
Probably something like;
“Happiness is a choice” or “You have to work hard to make things happen”
Not witty or anything but I tend to forget that sometimes.
“Feed the dog. Also, yourself.”
my computer background says “don’t worry, everything is going to be awesome”
“It’s not your fault your better than other people”.
That’s a really good idea! For me, I’d have to have something along the lines of “You’re not perfect, but that’s okay.” I tend to have very low self-esteem and reminding myself that it’s okay not to would definitely make for an easier day.
“You are Fabulous! And don’t forget it!”
or “Don’t forget, Hot sex after work today…”
lol anything to make me smile and put me in a good mood for the whole day.
Kitchens do seem to be the hub of Maritime parties, eh?
I love when people leave their shopping lists out in the open. I add ridiculously things to them.
“- Lube
- Home bikini wax kit
- Lube for the cover of the first lube to make sure that it is lubed enough to come off so that you can get to your lube
- Poptarts”