I’ll give you all a minute to compose yourselves.
Yes. After months and months of publicly embarrassing myself over and over and over again, I got my payoff. Not the pride of completing six hours of consecutive exercise. Not the satisfaction of setting two Guinness World Records. Not the incredible accomplishment of raising $1.14 million for new digital mammography equipment.
No.
It was getting my picture taken with Richard Simmons. And his compliment on my layering.
That’s right. He totally hit on me.
(Depending who you ask.)
Despite organized group exercise being my worst nightmare, I showed up with my incredible team on event day ready to commit to doing something outside of my comfort zone. As it turns out, Bust a Move wasn’t ALLLL that far out of my comfort zone since by 8am it already looked like Rupaul’s Rave Palace.
So…like any proper gay man would, I stripped off my pants, popped a couple E and said, “If I’m doing this, I’m doing it with wardrobe changes, bitch.”
Just kidding….Ecstasy is for trailer trash. I popped some good prescription shit. I don’t mess around.
So somewhere in between blackouts, make-outs and glow-stick dance-offs, we actually did it. Hour by hour, we conquered cardio, we pulverized pilates, we yooo…uh…yee…uh…curbstomped yoga, and then we all drank the Koolaid.
I kid. That was Unprepared Exerciser pose or What Did I Get Myself Into pose or something.
All in all, it was a day I’ll never forget – inspiring, hilarious and so much fun. A huge thanks goes out to my team for getting in on the fun, for each of you who donated or spread the word to help us get to $7,000, all event organizers, volunteers and fellow participants.
You’re all totally badass and breast cancer can kiss our asses.