You may have noticed the conspicuous absence of Chesticles Weekly here on the ole blog over Christmas. This is not because of some devout belief that Christmas is no time for boobies but rather the simple fact that it takes me a great deal of effort to crank out post after post about the breastual area.
Believe it or not, I don’t think about girly parts all that often.
Crazy – I know…
Among other reasons, this can best be explained by the fact that I recently read a Gerard Butler quote where he said he’s had relationships with both women AND men. As many of you can imagine, my brain is far too busy to deal with anything else until further notice. You know…because that was the only thing standing in between me and a happily ever after with his torso.
Shaddup.
So boobs – ladies – amirite?
Of course I am.
THIS…IS…SPARTA!!!
Sorry what?
As a reminder, in less than thirty days, months of fundraising for breast health will come to a climax (dontthinkaboutGerarddontthinkaboutGerard) as I wear short shorts and embarrass myself through six consecutive hours of fitness (pilates, belly dancing, zumba and more) while attempting to set two new Guinness World Records alongside Richard Simmons.
And you said I wasn’t interesting…
I have a few weeks left to raise money for my team and I need your help. We’re about halfway there and right now you can stretch your donation even further by giving to my teammate Cailin whose funds raised will be matched dollar for dollar up to $1,000 by The Gap.
Can’t give much?
Let The Gap double your donation.
Want to take The Gap to the cleaners because they didn’t hire you in high school*?
(*Just me?)
Give lots and show them who’s boss.
Just give.
Listen, you support my team, you’re essentially shoving me into a room full of hundreds of people, dressed like an absolute moron making a complete ass of myself by pretending to have even an ounce of coordination and endurance. (Only for you, Gerard).
It will be worth EVERY PENNY.