Today is a first for NOR as I do that thing where I convince myself that a gchat conversation is so hilarious that it needs to be a blog post of its own. I’m doing this even though sometimes I skim when you guys do it. Hey – at least I’m honest.
Feel free to skim although this post promises overshares galore, me in an embarrassing situation (surprise!!), plenty of opportunities for you to make fun of me in the comments section and awesome twitter #hashtags. Plus it’ll help you understand what my week-long stay with Tia is going to look like: all kinds of awesome.
Me: Okay. So…problem. (Only a mild one and it’s mostly funny)
Tia: K. Ready.
Me: So I figured I would use my time alone at the hotel to get any necessary manscaping required for the trip under control since I really have nothing better to do.
Tia: Uhm.
Me: Stay with me.
Tia: Manscaping like…waxing?
Me: No no no no no. Like hairclipper buzzing. It’s not so much of a time commitment as I made it sound.
Tia: Ok. Got it.
Me: You know…HOURS.
Tia: Hahahaha gross
Me: So I figured I’d clipper my leg hair for better sunning while I’m in Cali – and besides…the whole Acadian thing? I could easily be Wolfman if I really wanted to be. (This is a total overshare. I know).
Tia: Ok so you were clippering your leg hair.
Me: Don’t say it like it’s weird…
Tia: Hahahahahaha
Me: So anyway…back to my super normal story.
Tia: Continue.
Me: Our good set of clippers broke because the newf likes to go HULK SMASH on things and break everything we own. So I took the backup set which I forgot work much better but also make more noise than a motorboat. I did a quarter way around one leg and then swear I heard someone knocking at my door. So I stopped, didn’t answer the door and am now too afraid to keep going.
Tia: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Me: AWFUL.
Tia: I am SURE that no one was knocking on your door because of that.
Me: #gaypeopleproblems
Tia: #thiscouldonlyhappentothegays
Me: So needless to say, my leg looks AMAZING
Tia: #randomgayworries you should really finish it and do the other.
Me: What if someone knocks?? WHAT IF THEY THINK IT’S A REALLY LOUD VIBRATOR?!
Tia: THEN THEY’LL BE IN AWE OF YOUR MAD SEX TOY SKILLS. They’ll be like…”whoa, he means business.” I seriously thought you were going to tell me about some home waxing mishap like, “I only have one eyebrow. Don’t be scared.”
Me: I’ll just wear pants…