Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Queen of F-ing Dream Date

[There's a reason it took me such a long time to write out this edition of the Dream Date series. For starters, how does one even imagine dating Crissy without becoming lost in pleasurable fantasies? Well, you don't. I just woke up from a three week Crissy-coma.]

9:00am: Plan out date with Barbies.
10:00am: This is where we drive to our date while running over people wearing polyblends. I'm the cute blonde. Duh.
11:00am: This is where I dress Crissy up as the gay pride fairy and present her to the panel of judges on the reality show of life and who also appear to be the original members of the Village People post-op. I'm still the cute blonde. Duh.
11:30am: This is where I realize that I'm on a date with Crissy, voted hottest mommy blogger of 2008 by the general public of the universe, and not her husband who most of the time does not enjoy wearing pants. Am slightly disappointed.

I'm still the cute little blonde. Duh.

12:00pm: Crissy proves that she in fact is worthy of my affection by giving me a live rendition of this video she posted once upon a glorious day.

1:00pm: Spent.

36 comments:

Arjewtino said...

The very idea of a date with Crissy is exhausting.

I mean that in a good way.

Marie said...

Oh but Crissy is just so much fun!

So your still the cute blonde?

Maxie said...

I'd go on a date with the QOFE anyday!

The Rambler said...

5,6,7,8...OMG, this was sooo fun....5,6,7,8...when exactly is this over.....5,6,7,8...I can only smack my ass so many times....5,6,7,8...my hand is sore.

:) that was fun! the post, not the exercise, Me and exercise hate each other!

...love Maegan said...

ahahahhh I'm the cute blonde. Duh. ahahahha so great!

ÄsK AliCë said...

I think it would be exhausting in the best way possible. As in, you may not be able to breath from laughing so hard but you may not want to breath because then she'll have you off and running again.

The Modern Gal said...

You seem to get spent pretty quickly on your dream dates :)

just me said...

what's up with no details - SPILL IT!

Matt said...

I think we all want a dream date with QOFE!

saratogajean said...

Oh, to be a fly on that wall...

Andy said...

What an erotic ending to a perfectly plastic date. Drinking and stripercise- doesn't get much better.

Lauren said...

I'm so happy your dream date with her included the Barbies.

Miss Tiff said...

Absolute great dream date. :)

Rachel said...

what, nothing happened with the speculum?

Megkathleen said...

I can't get enough of that video, it's just too funny. I probably shouldn't watch it at work...

JenBun said...

Hmmm... how many Barbies do you have??

(Hee hee hee, all of this made me all giggly!)

:D

Meghan said...

You look good as a cute blonde barbie!

Sara said...

I like the video...that was a nice touch!

Ben said...

Arjewtino: Oh you know it!

Marie: Yes. Still the blonde. Obviously.

Maxie: Me too...

TheRambler: 5,6,7,8 I hate Carmen Electra now.

Maegan: Basically, I'm you.

AskAlice: She'd probably smother me in her boobs too. She seems like that type.

TheModernGal: I peak early. This is commonly known.

JustMe: I'm a gentleman.

Matt: So true!

Saratogajean: That fly would probably need therapy.

Andy: You've got that right! All of my dates involving plastic and stippercise have ended beautifully.

Lauren: It had too, didn't it?

MissTiff: Thanks!

Rachel: Not that I could blog about...

Megkathleen: Awesome, isn't it? It had my mom in tears!

JenBun: Okay, okay. I stole all the pics from Crissy's blog.

Meghan: I thought so too!

Sara: I couldn't leave it out. It'd be criminal.

Kristen said...

OMG!!! I've been hoping you'd do me for a dream date and here I am at the end of my day and finally getting around to checking all my blog friends and I find this!

I love you Ben!

I love you very much!

And I think I would exhaust you. Hell I exhaust myself...

Kristen said...

And you totally look like that cute Ken doll. I should send him to you.

Alexa said...

i heart her!

Katelin said...

um this is one awesome dream date. and how could it not? there are barbies!

Femin Susan said...

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Congratulations....Your posting is very interesting...Keep writing.. Welcome to my blog...

Auburn Kat said...

HAHA! I love the pictures!

peterdewolf said...

I thought that I was the only one that planned dates out with Barbies!

crissy's pimp said...

as her royal title of hottest mommy blogger attests, i am one lucky mommy fucker, and it warms the cockles of my heart to see how all of you recognize what an intelligent, witty, loyal, and smoking hot piece of ass my wife really is.

Kate said...

Oh, the Barbies came along! Yippeee!!!!!

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. But I'm not. I tried once, but I'm not.

stealthnerd said...

Now THAT would be a date. Damn.

Ben said...

Kristen: I live but to make you happy.

Alexa: You should!

Katelin: Exaaactly! Foolproof.

Auburn: Thank Crissy for those.

Peter: We are one and the same, my good friend.

Crissy'sPimp: Modern day romance, is there anything better?

Kate: I don't swing that way either. Haven't tried. Don't intend to.

Stealthnerd: You know it!

Kyla Bea said...

Oh my gosh lol

Should I ask where the Barbies came from or just bask in the awesome of this dream date?

I think I'll take option #2, for my own safety. Great dream date!

melissalion said...

Oh how I've missed that carmen electra video.

Dolce said...

Everytime I see this video, it makes me laugh so hard I cry.

She could wear anyone out.

Summer said...

This post makes me want to play with Barbies. Loved the hit-n-run, but was that a woman and a baby?

You are a such darling little blonde ;)

Also that video was beyond any greatness I could have expected this morning! Thank you!

Ben said...

Kyla: The barbie images were generously provided by (swiped from) Crissy's blog.

Melissalion: I can't handle that video. The laughs kill me.

Dolce: I'm with you as is mymother who was in tears last night.

Summer: It was indeed. Thank Crissy for the vid!

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