Howcouldyoupossiblygostaysomewherewithacompletestranger?
Shecouldhavebeenanaxemurderer!
Yes. Tia could have been an axe murderer. But she wasn't and I just saved close to $1,000 in accommodations, didn't I? And really...if someone actually wanted me dead, I think it would be much easier to just come to my house rather than lure me across the continent. At least that way I'd go out with some heavy breathing on my bedroom at night...you know...the CLASSY way to get murdered.
Tia and I got along without a hitch from the second I arrived. I didn't mind when she refused to leave the three-block radius that contains her entire life (I kid...ish). She didn't mind when I refused to make eye contact because there were topless Abercrombie & Fitch models jogging down the sidewalk (I kid...not even a little bit).
I refuse to bore all of you with the hundreds of stories I could share from those six, glorious days but I'll instead just let you know that it's nothing but good times when you and Tia get to experience Phil, JenBun, hubs and BFF main gay Andrew.
Aside from that, I leave you with the short version of the highlights and the links to my videos and photos from the trip. Check 'em out and be jealous.
Best Vlog About a Lube-base Product:
Best Conversation:
"I loves me some Naomi Campbell. That crazy bitch knows how to throw a cellular."
"Bitch - she crazay. I ain't throwin' no phone. I ain't got no insurance on that shit! I'mma throw somebody else's first."
"Girl, you can barely afford to keep your phone connected..."
(to me, getting ready to aim) "Scuse me. Can I borrow your phone?"
(Of course...this was entirely between two guys)
Best Meal:
Best One-liner:
(To Tia, re: hot man walking with son)
"Damn....He should lose the twink."
Best Picture I Don't Remember Taking:
Best Hang-up:
(Me and the newf)Best Pseudo-Celebrity Encounter:
"I've been throwing up all day. Make it better."
"If you've been throwing up, that's past a hangover and actually alcohol poisoning. Your body is probably still processing the alcohol consumed the night before so there's really nothing you can do. You see, once it makes its way to the liver-"
*click*
This one's only for the hardcore Idol fans. If you don't know who he is, check out the video at about 4:40.
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